Recently we have been witness to so many difficulties in relationships. This has forced me evaluate my own relationships; with God, my husband, my kids and my friends and other family. What have I done that could potentially screw up those relationships? What have I done that has helped cement those relationships? What can I do to make things better in the present & future?
I can only say one word that has made all my relationships work in the past and in the present, God. With God I am blessed with an over abundance amount of His agape love, His amazingly powerful love.
When I was little I did not personally honestly, know His love for me and for others. Oh, I was raised in a Christian home and I was told about the love God has for His creation, including human beings. I thought I knew it. I thought I was part of it. I didn't realize until I became an adult how much I was missing out on. When I was a kid I had head knowledge. Now that I am an adult I have heart knowledge. Now let me tell you there is a whole world of difference between the two!
To know God personally and be able to talk with Him at any moment in time, is an amazing feeling!!! to know I am never alone, that God is with me every moment of my life is comforting and reassuring! To knwo that god watches over me and guides me in all my comings and goings, in all my sayings and listenings, in all my ups and all my downs, is the best feeling I could have ever (or will ever) experience!
Without God I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my marriage would not be nearly as happy and wonderful as it is, if it is happy or wonderful at all. Mike and I have had our ups and our downs in our marriage. We have had our arguments and I have packed a bag to leave on more then one occasion. Without God our marriage would have failed years ago. Putting God first in our marriage has made being in the number 2 place so worthwhile! Once you put God first He helps you align all else in your life in such a way that it brings glory to Him and makes all that happens bless you. Whether good or bad happens in the long run you see, over time, how God has the ability to use it to help you grow stronger as a person and in your faith.
So, before I go to bed let me simply say I am blessed to be counted among God's children. I am blessed to knot hat without a shadow of a doubt if I were to die tonight while I sleep or in a car crash tomorrow I would end up with Jesus worshiping Him forever! I am blessed to put Him first in all that I do and I pray you are also!
God's goal for you in life.
Life goes on, move with it
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
My thoughts on Extreme Couponing
Written on 7/4/11.
Hi. I have been himming and hawing over what to do about this extreme couponing thing. I know many people LOVE couponing and swear by it. There are a whole slew of websites devoted to it. There is a television show devoted to it. There are so many facebook pages started to help others start couponing. I even have a couple of friends who are into it.
I was thinking about my reasons for starting to coupon and my reasons why it might not be a great idea when I came across this article. I found it interesting and saddening at the same time. Apparently, some of these people, a good amount from the sounds of it, gang-cut their coupons. Now I had no idea what gang-cutting was until I read this. Now I know why it's detrimental to the companies out there.
http://www.jillcataldo.com/gang_cut_coupons
So knowing this has left me in a bit of a conundrum. Do I continue to coupon like this or do I stop? Now, before we go any further let me clarify a few things.
1) I DO NOT gang-cut coupons. EVER.
2) I DO NOT get more then 2 papers on Sundays if I get that many.
3) I think Gang-cutting is wrong therefore making it sinful.
4) I DO NOT want to (even remotely appear to) be participating in sinful acts.
So you see I am left wondering is the extreme couponing a sinful thing to do? Am I actually participating in Extreme couponing and therefore in participating in a sinful act?
My husband, Mike, says I am not sinning by using coupons. I am using the coupons the way the manufactures have intended them to be used and therefore am not sinning. My dilemma is do I participate in something that can be so sinful, even if I, myself, am not sinning doing it? Mike says that everytthing on this Earth can be sinful in some way and that I don't need to worry about it.
Ok, my original reasons for starting to coupon again. I have tried it before but not particularly very well. lol I would forget the coupons all the time and decided it wasn't worth it to cut them and collect them if I forgot to use them at the store. So I stopped using them. Ok, my reasons, were simply two fold. One was to see if I could do it and two was to try to save money. Having two teens and a hubby that drives 19 miles one way to work 5 days a week make the money we do have not go as far as we would like it to sometimes.
BUT!!! I never intended to do the "Extreme Couponing" and go crazy like some people do. I will not spend money on things I do not use nor need. I will not stock pile the items. Maybe having two or three on hand in case I run out might be a nice idea but I do not need (nor do I want) 10 of the same item! lol
My last thought about this couponing thing is I am not trusting in God to provide all we need if I coupon? I want to trust the Lord as I know that is not only right but it is an act of faith that has ALWAYS brought us blessings. I want God to know that I trust my life and the lives of my children and family in His more then capable & loving hands. Will couponing pick away at the amount of trust I give God? I DO NOT ever wish my trust to be diminished by anything!
So, in conclusion, I am trying to the couponing thing until God gives me a clearer direction to proceed with. I trust God to provide all we ever need but I am also trying to be a faithful stewardess with all that He already given me. I am trying to be wise with the finances we have and fully rely on Him to help me through this whole experience....
I would appreciate any and all thoughts on Extreme Couponing that you might have. Thanks!
Hi. I have been himming and hawing over what to do about this extreme couponing thing. I know many people LOVE couponing and swear by it. There are a whole slew of websites devoted to it. There is a television show devoted to it. There are so many facebook pages started to help others start couponing. I even have a couple of friends who are into it.
I was thinking about my reasons for starting to coupon and my reasons why it might not be a great idea when I came across this article. I found it interesting and saddening at the same time. Apparently, some of these people, a good amount from the sounds of it, gang-cut their coupons. Now I had no idea what gang-cutting was until I read this. Now I know why it's detrimental to the companies out there.
http://www.jillcataldo.com/gang_cut_coupons
So knowing this has left me in a bit of a conundrum. Do I continue to coupon like this or do I stop? Now, before we go any further let me clarify a few things.
1) I DO NOT gang-cut coupons. EVER.
2) I DO NOT get more then 2 papers on Sundays if I get that many.
3) I think Gang-cutting is wrong therefore making it sinful.
4) I DO NOT want to (even remotely appear to) be participating in sinful acts.
So you see I am left wondering is the extreme couponing a sinful thing to do? Am I actually participating in Extreme couponing and therefore in participating in a sinful act?
My husband, Mike, says I am not sinning by using coupons. I am using the coupons the way the manufactures have intended them to be used and therefore am not sinning. My dilemma is do I participate in something that can be so sinful, even if I, myself, am not sinning doing it? Mike says that everytthing on this Earth can be sinful in some way and that I don't need to worry about it.
Ok, my original reasons for starting to coupon again. I have tried it before but not particularly very well. lol I would forget the coupons all the time and decided it wasn't worth it to cut them and collect them if I forgot to use them at the store. So I stopped using them. Ok, my reasons, were simply two fold. One was to see if I could do it and two was to try to save money. Having two teens and a hubby that drives 19 miles one way to work 5 days a week make the money we do have not go as far as we would like it to sometimes.
BUT!!! I never intended to do the "Extreme Couponing" and go crazy like some people do. I will not spend money on things I do not use nor need. I will not stock pile the items. Maybe having two or three on hand in case I run out might be a nice idea but I do not need (nor do I want) 10 of the same item! lol
My last thought about this couponing thing is I am not trusting in God to provide all we need if I coupon? I want to trust the Lord as I know that is not only right but it is an act of faith that has ALWAYS brought us blessings. I want God to know that I trust my life and the lives of my children and family in His more then capable & loving hands. Will couponing pick away at the amount of trust I give God? I DO NOT ever wish my trust to be diminished by anything!
So, in conclusion, I am trying to the couponing thing until God gives me a clearer direction to proceed with. I trust God to provide all we ever need but I am also trying to be a faithful stewardess with all that He already given me. I am trying to be wise with the finances we have and fully rely on Him to help me through this whole experience....
I would appreciate any and all thoughts on Extreme Couponing that you might have. Thanks!
friendships
Written on 5/28/11.
friendship is one of those things that requires strength and wisdom.
Is this person really a friend?
Are they trying to "pull the wool over your eyes?'
Can you trust them to tell you the truth?
Are you honest with them?
Can you connect with them on various topics of life?
Do they have a similar mind set?
Well, Recently I have been posed with just the questions in regards to a few "friends" in particular. One I will call Lynn and one I will call Sarah. A third "friend" is one I am still a bit confused over what type of friendship there is. Her name I will say is Emily. To my knowledge none of these ladies or their families are saved.
Now, at our first interaction these three ladies left me with three different feelings entirely. Now I knew Sarah I could trust. I had a good feeling about Sarah. She seemed like a great lady who has made some bad choices in life but realized her mistake and has tried to do good after that. When I met Lynn, I got a uncomfortable feeling but she was nice so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Seeing how I would have many interactions with this lady I thought it was worth it to become "friends". I'm not so sure now. Emily, well, she is nice and we got along from the get go but I also have reservations about her. Although we get along well I still have this strange sensation when interacting with her. It's as if I feel a whisper saying be-careful. Maybe it's my own mind playing games with me seeing as to how one friendship just broke up in a bad way, maybe it is God's warning and guidance. I do not know. I guess we will see how these friendships pan out over time.
Ok, so I wrote the above a while ago. Now on 7/5/11 I am updating this before posting. I am still friends with all 3 of these ladies. I say "friends" but I'm not sure how far that friendship actually goes. Now Sarah, I know I can trust, I like her a lot. She is sweet funny and a great friend. I have known her for years and have been blessed by our friendship. Lynn, well, I am still not sure where that lies. lol she is a nice person but I feel like everything I hear from her is said with some ulterior motive, whether it is meant to deceive me or make me think better of her I'm not sure. Either way, my biggest pet peeve in life is being lied to. This bothers me greatly about this friend. Now, Emily and I also get along great. She is sweet, helpful and fun to be around. However, I still get that "be careful" warning in my head so I am listening to it.
Either way no matter if these ladies are my true honest to goodness friends or not is yet to be seen. I know that the only person I really need in life is Christ. I have Him without fail each day of my life. :o)
friendship is one of those things that requires strength and wisdom.
Is this person really a friend?
Are they trying to "pull the wool over your eyes?'
Can you trust them to tell you the truth?
Are you honest with them?
Can you connect with them on various topics of life?
Do they have a similar mind set?
Well, Recently I have been posed with just the questions in regards to a few "friends" in particular. One I will call Lynn and one I will call Sarah. A third "friend" is one I am still a bit confused over what type of friendship there is. Her name I will say is Emily. To my knowledge none of these ladies or their families are saved.
Now, at our first interaction these three ladies left me with three different feelings entirely. Now I knew Sarah I could trust. I had a good feeling about Sarah. She seemed like a great lady who has made some bad choices in life but realized her mistake and has tried to do good after that. When I met Lynn, I got a uncomfortable feeling but she was nice so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Seeing how I would have many interactions with this lady I thought it was worth it to become "friends". I'm not so sure now. Emily, well, she is nice and we got along from the get go but I also have reservations about her. Although we get along well I still have this strange sensation when interacting with her. It's as if I feel a whisper saying be-careful. Maybe it's my own mind playing games with me seeing as to how one friendship just broke up in a bad way, maybe it is God's warning and guidance. I do not know. I guess we will see how these friendships pan out over time.
Ok, so I wrote the above a while ago. Now on 7/5/11 I am updating this before posting. I am still friends with all 3 of these ladies. I say "friends" but I'm not sure how far that friendship actually goes. Now Sarah, I know I can trust, I like her a lot. She is sweet funny and a great friend. I have known her for years and have been blessed by our friendship. Lynn, well, I am still not sure where that lies. lol she is a nice person but I feel like everything I hear from her is said with some ulterior motive, whether it is meant to deceive me or make me think better of her I'm not sure. Either way, my biggest pet peeve in life is being lied to. This bothers me greatly about this friend. Now, Emily and I also get along great. She is sweet, helpful and fun to be around. However, I still get that "be careful" warning in my head so I am listening to it.
Either way no matter if these ladies are my true honest to goodness friends or not is yet to be seen. I know that the only person I really need in life is Christ. I have Him without fail each day of my life. :o)
just thinking about life.... being bored.... lol
Written on 6/9/11.
I have not been sure of what to write lately. That is one reason I haven't written lately. When I do think of something to write it is late and I am too tired. But today I wanted to write anyhow. I have nothing on my mind and nothing exciting has happened that is so exciting that I just have to tell someone about so there really isn't anything to write about. My boys are done with school and have been for a while. Mike is on vacation starting this Saturday. We are going camping on Sunday and will return on Friday. As for extended family; well, all things are well there too. Mike's mom is doing well, all things considered, seeing as how her father recently passed away. Mike's aunt and uncle are in town for a bit and it is so enjoyable to spend time with them. My siblings are all doing well as far as I know so there is no worries there either. lol It seems to me that I live a very mundane, boring repetitive life. But through it all I feel immensely blessed.
God has given me a wonderful life. I have a husband whom I am madly in love with even after 17 years of marriage, two wonderful boys who are growing up loving the Lord. I have a great place to live, my husband has a job that takes care of our bills, and we have many amenities that make our lives easier and more pleasant. So although my life is boring and mundane I am more then happy and content. God is awesome and has blessed me in so many, many ways! For that I am always thankful!
I have not been sure of what to write lately. That is one reason I haven't written lately. When I do think of something to write it is late and I am too tired. But today I wanted to write anyhow. I have nothing on my mind and nothing exciting has happened that is so exciting that I just have to tell someone about so there really isn't anything to write about. My boys are done with school and have been for a while. Mike is on vacation starting this Saturday. We are going camping on Sunday and will return on Friday. As for extended family; well, all things are well there too. Mike's mom is doing well, all things considered, seeing as how her father recently passed away. Mike's aunt and uncle are in town for a bit and it is so enjoyable to spend time with them. My siblings are all doing well as far as I know so there is no worries there either. lol It seems to me that I live a very mundane, boring repetitive life. But through it all I feel immensely blessed.
God has given me a wonderful life. I have a husband whom I am madly in love with even after 17 years of marriage, two wonderful boys who are growing up loving the Lord. I have a great place to live, my husband has a job that takes care of our bills, and we have many amenities that make our lives easier and more pleasant. So although my life is boring and mundane I am more then happy and content. God is awesome and has blessed me in so many, many ways! For that I am always thankful!
life recently
Written on 5/26/11.
Life recently has been sort of different... Mike had off all last week because of the death of his grandfather. He helped his aunt and his mom with his grandfather's apartment a little bit. We visited with his extended family a couple of days. It was a somber but actually enjoyable time. I know that may sound bad but when you do not see family members in a long time then seeing them for any reason practically, turns out to be nice. Grandpa will be greatly missed. He was unsaved and a hard headed self mad man but loving, caring and funny. My heart breaks now that he is no longer with us.
Life recently has been sort of different... Mike had off all last week because of the death of his grandfather. He helped his aunt and his mom with his grandfather's apartment a little bit. We visited with his extended family a couple of days. It was a somber but actually enjoyable time. I know that may sound bad but when you do not see family members in a long time then seeing them for any reason practically, turns out to be nice. Grandpa will be greatly missed. He was unsaved and a hard headed self mad man but loving, caring and funny. My heart breaks now that he is no longer with us.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
what a week
Wow, this week has been rough... so many deaths, first Megan's grandmother, then Ryan's uncle, then Mike's grandfather.... Granted the only one we really knew was Grandpa but so many deaths so close to each other is rough... a funeral after a funeral. UGH! Today we went shopping for outfits to wear to Grandpa's funeral.
It's sad but we didn't have anything to wear to a funeral that was somber and respectful looking, and that actually fit. Yes, we do go to church every Sunday so you would think that we had dress clothes. Nope, we didn't. You see our church doesn't "require" us to "dress up" in our "Sunday's best". If you wish to you are more then welcome to but not everyone does. Of course we do look nice and we are clean and presentable each time we go to church for any type of service, but we don't "dress up" in dresses, suit and ties all the time... No matter what we wear God still loves us the same. You know the old saying, a rose by any other name would still smell the same? We that is the way it is with God. No matter how we change our outward appearance it doesn't affect how God looks at us. He looks on the inside, not the outside... He sees the truth behind the masks we all wear. Yes, we all wear masks whether we believe it or not... We all take time, conscientiously or subconsciously, to give society the appearance they are looking for or the appearance we want them to see of us. Do we do that with God? Do we stop and think how God would react to how we look on the outside? And the inside? I wish I did more then I do. I wish I did it a lot more then I do. It seems that since we don't physically see God that we don't think of how He looks at us most of the time. We get so wrapped up in the world's view that we forget about God's view. I for one want to change that. I NEED to change that. It's not the world's view that will have a long lasting effect on me. It's not the world's view that will stay with me for eternity. We will not stay with the world forever, but only a short time span. If these recent deaths have taught me anything it is life is fleeting....
So, anyhow, back to the outfit shopping... we went to our local Wal-Mart. Yup, that's right - Wally's, lol Mike says we practically live at Wal-Mart! I am always surprised at the nice style of clothing Wal-Mart has. Now we are simple folk and are not up on the trendiest attire nor the hottest fashions, but we do like to look nice. Wal-Mart fills that desire quite nicely. It also fits into our budget which is important too! (Don't get me started on the amount of debt people have! UGH That is another blog for another day!) Anyhow, we bought dress pants and dress shirts for both boys, a skirt for me wiht a nice blouse. I was shocked when we arrived home and found out that the pants I chose for Daniel were way too small!!!! I forget how much that boys has grown in the last 6 months or so! so, anyhow, we have to go back to Wal-Mart tomorrow to exchange Daniel's pants for a larger size. (At least I know he is growing. for a long time there he stayed so small!)
Thursday is the funeral service for Grandpa. It will be a sad day. today I was thinking of this porcelain doll
Mike's grandmother, Ida, made. The family thought Ida had given the doll a name but no one could remember it. I was looking at the doll to see if a name was etched into her anywhere. Nope, no name. I htought to myself, why don't I jsut cal Grandpa? He'll know. Then it hit me. There will never be anymore calling Grandpa. Oh how I wish that weren't true though.
It makes me stop and think about how little time we actually have here on Earth. Before we know it we will be dead and buried, or cremated and put on someone's fireplace mantle. I for one, could care less what happens to my body after I die. It will no longer have a soul, as my soul will be with Christ in Paradise. One day, I know that will happen. What type of impact will we leave behind for those who remain? What will we be remembered for? I only want to be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. I wish to be remembered for how I let God use me and shine through me. That in the end is the only thing that matters anyhow. Why worry about the rest? I'm not.
Well, it is late, 12:39 am, and I have a busy day tomorrow ahead of me. I am off to bed soon. I have a few things to finish up before heading there though. No matter what tomorrow may bring may you live your life the way Christ desires and may the impact you leave on this world bless God. Sweet dreams everyone!
It's sad but we didn't have anything to wear to a funeral that was somber and respectful looking, and that actually fit. Yes, we do go to church every Sunday so you would think that we had dress clothes. Nope, we didn't. You see our church doesn't "require" us to "dress up" in our "Sunday's best". If you wish to you are more then welcome to but not everyone does. Of course we do look nice and we are clean and presentable each time we go to church for any type of service, but we don't "dress up" in dresses, suit and ties all the time... No matter what we wear God still loves us the same. You know the old saying, a rose by any other name would still smell the same? We that is the way it is with God. No matter how we change our outward appearance it doesn't affect how God looks at us. He looks on the inside, not the outside... He sees the truth behind the masks we all wear. Yes, we all wear masks whether we believe it or not... We all take time, conscientiously or subconsciously, to give society the appearance they are looking for or the appearance we want them to see of us. Do we do that with God? Do we stop and think how God would react to how we look on the outside? And the inside? I wish I did more then I do. I wish I did it a lot more then I do. It seems that since we don't physically see God that we don't think of how He looks at us most of the time. We get so wrapped up in the world's view that we forget about God's view. I for one want to change that. I NEED to change that. It's not the world's view that will have a long lasting effect on me. It's not the world's view that will stay with me for eternity. We will not stay with the world forever, but only a short time span. If these recent deaths have taught me anything it is life is fleeting....
So, anyhow, back to the outfit shopping... we went to our local Wal-Mart. Yup, that's right - Wally's, lol Mike says we practically live at Wal-Mart! I am always surprised at the nice style of clothing Wal-Mart has. Now we are simple folk and are not up on the trendiest attire nor the hottest fashions, but we do like to look nice. Wal-Mart fills that desire quite nicely. It also fits into our budget which is important too! (Don't get me started on the amount of debt people have! UGH That is another blog for another day!) Anyhow, we bought dress pants and dress shirts for both boys, a skirt for me wiht a nice blouse. I was shocked when we arrived home and found out that the pants I chose for Daniel were way too small!!!! I forget how much that boys has grown in the last 6 months or so! so, anyhow, we have to go back to Wal-Mart tomorrow to exchange Daniel's pants for a larger size. (At least I know he is growing. for a long time there he stayed so small!)
Thursday is the funeral service for Grandpa. It will be a sad day. today I was thinking of this porcelain doll
Mike's grandmother, Ida, made. The family thought Ida had given the doll a name but no one could remember it. I was looking at the doll to see if a name was etched into her anywhere. Nope, no name. I htought to myself, why don't I jsut cal Grandpa? He'll know. Then it hit me. There will never be anymore calling Grandpa. Oh how I wish that weren't true though.
It makes me stop and think about how little time we actually have here on Earth. Before we know it we will be dead and buried, or cremated and put on someone's fireplace mantle. I for one, could care less what happens to my body after I die. It will no longer have a soul, as my soul will be with Christ in Paradise. One day, I know that will happen. What type of impact will we leave behind for those who remain? What will we be remembered for? I only want to be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. I wish to be remembered for how I let God use me and shine through me. That in the end is the only thing that matters anyhow. Why worry about the rest? I'm not.
Well, it is late, 12:39 am, and I have a busy day tomorrow ahead of me. I am off to bed soon. I have a few things to finish up before heading there though. No matter what tomorrow may bring may you live your life the way Christ desires and may the impact you leave on this world bless God. Sweet dreams everyone!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
why I do not hate Osama...
You know I have all these verse typed up and ready to post here. They all talk about not letting anger control you. But then I came across these +verses and wow! it changed my whole mind set....
But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
So, although I had planned to blog today about my reasons for not hating Osama I have decided against it. For why should I argue about how God directs me to feel when the Scriptures says not to quarrel? So enough said I guess..
Have a great day....
2 Timothy 2:23-26
But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
So, although I had planned to blog today about my reasons for not hating Osama I have decided against it. For why should I argue about how God directs me to feel when the Scriptures says not to quarrel? So enough said I guess..
Have a great day....
Saturday, April 30, 2011
wow
Lately, it feels as if I am being tried and tried and tried... drama everywhere I turn. How old are we people??? I don't know about you but I am 38, I will 39 in November. I am too old for drama.... leave me out of it please.
The only drama I want is the wonderful kind that comes after His Glorious appearance! I will write more soon I hope. There is so much in our lives right now I wouldn't know where to begin even if I had the time to write 50 pages worth!!!
If you think of me, pray for my little mouth to watch what I say and ,my tiny ears to be careful what they listen to... thank you!
The only drama I want is the wonderful kind that comes after His Glorious appearance! I will write more soon I hope. There is so much in our lives right now I wouldn't know where to begin even if I had the time to write 50 pages worth!!!
If you think of me, pray for my little mouth to watch what I say and ,my tiny ears to be careful what they listen to... thank you!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Easter
God:
Passion
Love
Nurture
Grace
Forgiving
Us:
dirty
sinful
unforgiving
uncaring
unloving
Why would any spiritual being love us? why would the creator of all that exists love us? Honestly, I have no idea. My pastor referred to humans as animated dirt balls. I have to say that that description does not do the human nature justice...
What boggles my mind, and we have been learning about this on Sunday mornings, is that no matter what we do, God loves us. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to be part of the closest relationship we will ever have. He wants to be part of us. His love is so all encompassing that it covers EVERYTHING, leaving nothing left unloved.
I know as a parent my love for my children is incomprehensible. I know as a wife, that my love for my husband covers a multitude of mistakes and imperfections. It makes me blind to things in anyone else I would hate. No matter if my child were a homicidal maniac who openly practices homosexuality, I know in my heart of hearts, I would love them. Doesn't that mean that I condone their sinful behavior though? No. It does not.just because I love them doesn't mean that I think they are perfect and can do no wrong. It doesn't mean that I cna over look their behavior or actions. It just means that despite the sin, I have deeply rooted feelings towards them. If my husband were to have an affair, (which by the way he is honestly the last person I would ever suspect of having one) I know that if we both desire to rectify our marriage then we can.
Ok, so how does that relate to God loving us? Just think, if we, being human with all these horrible despicable flaws, love those that are closest to us that much, how much more does God love us? I mean come on! He gave His ONLY begotten son to die so that we may one day be with Him in glory again. The only way to cover the awful sins we have committed (lieing and taking the extra long lunch breaks are committing sin, btw) was to cover them with blood. Jesus became that covering. Once blood as covered our sins our sins become forgotten. Now, I ;m not talking about just forgotten in the human way of forgetting. I am talking about the God way of forgetting - to have no memory of ever again... Not to remember and just not hold it against us but to actually NOT remember the sins once they are forgiven. WOW! I am in awe...
My God, the creator of all that has existed, exists now and will exists in the future loves me enough to willingly forget my sins when I trust and believe on Him. I'm sorry, but even though I believe that 110% I still find it hard to comprehend.
So, thank you God for all your love, nurture, care and guidance You do so much more for me then I could ever begin to repay you for. I know through all my sins you love me and cherish each moment with me. Forgive me of those things I do wrong, even at those times when I know not that I am doing wrong... forgive me and clean me Oh Lord. Make me more like you....
Easter is a humbling time of year. It is when we should take a step back and reevaluate our lives. Are we the type of person God wants us to be? Do we understand how much god gave so that we may spend eternity with him? I sure hope you do, I know I try to.
Have a wonderfully joyous eye opening Easter.
Passion
Love
Nurture
Grace
Forgiving
Us:
dirty
sinful
unforgiving
uncaring
unloving
Why would any spiritual being love us? why would the creator of all that exists love us? Honestly, I have no idea. My pastor referred to humans as animated dirt balls. I have to say that that description does not do the human nature justice...
What boggles my mind, and we have been learning about this on Sunday mornings, is that no matter what we do, God loves us. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to be part of the closest relationship we will ever have. He wants to be part of us. His love is so all encompassing that it covers EVERYTHING, leaving nothing left unloved.
I know as a parent my love for my children is incomprehensible. I know as a wife, that my love for my husband covers a multitude of mistakes and imperfections. It makes me blind to things in anyone else I would hate. No matter if my child were a homicidal maniac who openly practices homosexuality, I know in my heart of hearts, I would love them. Doesn't that mean that I condone their sinful behavior though? No. It does not.just because I love them doesn't mean that I think they are perfect and can do no wrong. It doesn't mean that I cna over look their behavior or actions. It just means that despite the sin, I have deeply rooted feelings towards them. If my husband were to have an affair, (which by the way he is honestly the last person I would ever suspect of having one) I know that if we both desire to rectify our marriage then we can.
Ok, so how does that relate to God loving us? Just think, if we, being human with all these horrible despicable flaws, love those that are closest to us that much, how much more does God love us? I mean come on! He gave His ONLY begotten son to die so that we may one day be with Him in glory again. The only way to cover the awful sins we have committed (lieing and taking the extra long lunch breaks are committing sin, btw) was to cover them with blood. Jesus became that covering. Once blood as covered our sins our sins become forgotten. Now, I ;m not talking about just forgotten in the human way of forgetting. I am talking about the God way of forgetting - to have no memory of ever again... Not to remember and just not hold it against us but to actually NOT remember the sins once they are forgiven. WOW! I am in awe...
My God, the creator of all that has existed, exists now and will exists in the future loves me enough to willingly forget my sins when I trust and believe on Him. I'm sorry, but even though I believe that 110% I still find it hard to comprehend.
So, thank you God for all your love, nurture, care and guidance You do so much more for me then I could ever begin to repay you for. I know through all my sins you love me and cherish each moment with me. Forgive me of those things I do wrong, even at those times when I know not that I am doing wrong... forgive me and clean me Oh Lord. Make me more like you....
Easter is a humbling time of year. It is when we should take a step back and reevaluate our lives. Are we the type of person God wants us to be? Do we understand how much god gave so that we may spend eternity with him? I sure hope you do, I know I try to.
Have a wonderfully joyous eye opening Easter.
Friday, April 22, 2011
tonight
Tonight I had a decent conversation with someone whom I have a small disagreement with. Having the disagreement doesn't, and shouldn't mean that I no longer like this person, nor get along with them. It's all about peace. Ok, so maybe it's not all about peace, but I certainly would like it to be. Wouldn't it be nice if people would just be honest and not take things so personally? You see, long story short is that Mike and I have different opinions about this person. I am trying not to hold things against this person while Mike is pretty much fed up. I just want to be a good witness for Christ, but what exactly does that entail? Being honest, check. Following through with what you say, check. Being pleasant and not vindictive, check. Ok, so where do I go from here?
Now, I am not perfect, by any means! I have a lot of faults, too many to list. I am not going to throw stones at anyone and I wish people not to throw stones at me. I wish that God would work through me with this circumstance and that through this issue He may be glorified. But how can that happen when the two people on this side of the issue have way different ideas of how to handle it? I just don't know.
I'll write more later about this.
Right now my son wishes to die an early death. He is playfully joking about pouring water all over my computers. Ok, so this I will kill him for! lmbo!!! such a wonderful child, isn't he? lol
Today we had a wonderful day. the weather was gorgeous, not too cold and not to warm. We had a great time hanging outside as a fmaily. Adam found these Yu Gi Oh cards, LOTS of them! I wouldn't doubt if there were a couple of hundred of them. Now, of course, my son wanted to sell them to get easy money. Two major things were wrong with that idea, one way more wrong then the other. Fist of all, about half the cards were water logged so they wouldn't sell for anything... Secondly, why would we wish to sell something that we feel is sinful? Mike and I feel that would be wrong. It is almost like helping your friend sin but not actually committing the sin yourself... you know? it is just full of bad ideas! lol So, what did we do with these cards? We had a great bon fire in our grill. hehehe It was fun! lol The kids enjoyed burning the cards and of course, Mike is a pyro anyway. With all the cards burning it created lots of smoke, so you know we had to all get showers afterwards. It was so worth it though. :o)
After that, we decided to wait on the showers and got for a nature walk at a near by park. For hiking I find this particular spot fairly enjoyable. It has a great hill to climb, it's right next to a creek, and it has a meadow that opens up after you go through the forest area. There is a concrete bridge to cross and also a smaller wooden bridge later on. It was a bit muddy in spots but mostly it was semi dry. Now, there were not many animals about and the trees barely had buds on them. There were a lot of broken dead trees down every where due to the recent wind storms. This only made the walk more enjoyable as that meant more to look at and search around.
We found this one particular tree that fell and was braced between a couple of other trees. Since it was braced fairly well we could sit down on it and take some great pictures. We had lots of laughs and fun as a fmaily in the woods. I wish it was a longer time but I know this summer we will do it again. I think that over all it was a nice day.
I'll write more later if I can. For now I am going to go relax.
Now, I am not perfect, by any means! I have a lot of faults, too many to list. I am not going to throw stones at anyone and I wish people not to throw stones at me. I wish that God would work through me with this circumstance and that through this issue He may be glorified. But how can that happen when the two people on this side of the issue have way different ideas of how to handle it? I just don't know.
I'll write more later about this.
Right now my son wishes to die an early death. He is playfully joking about pouring water all over my computers. Ok, so this I will kill him for! lmbo!!! such a wonderful child, isn't he? lol
Today we had a wonderful day. the weather was gorgeous, not too cold and not to warm. We had a great time hanging outside as a fmaily. Adam found these Yu Gi Oh cards, LOTS of them! I wouldn't doubt if there were a couple of hundred of them. Now, of course, my son wanted to sell them to get easy money. Two major things were wrong with that idea, one way more wrong then the other. Fist of all, about half the cards were water logged so they wouldn't sell for anything... Secondly, why would we wish to sell something that we feel is sinful? Mike and I feel that would be wrong. It is almost like helping your friend sin but not actually committing the sin yourself... you know? it is just full of bad ideas! lol So, what did we do with these cards? We had a great bon fire in our grill. hehehe It was fun! lol The kids enjoyed burning the cards and of course, Mike is a pyro anyway. With all the cards burning it created lots of smoke, so you know we had to all get showers afterwards. It was so worth it though. :o)
After that, we decided to wait on the showers and got for a nature walk at a near by park. For hiking I find this particular spot fairly enjoyable. It has a great hill to climb, it's right next to a creek, and it has a meadow that opens up after you go through the forest area. There is a concrete bridge to cross and also a smaller wooden bridge later on. It was a bit muddy in spots but mostly it was semi dry. Now, there were not many animals about and the trees barely had buds on them. There were a lot of broken dead trees down every where due to the recent wind storms. This only made the walk more enjoyable as that meant more to look at and search around.
We found this one particular tree that fell and was braced between a couple of other trees. Since it was braced fairly well we could sit down on it and take some great pictures. We had lots of laughs and fun as a fmaily in the woods. I wish it was a longer time but I know this summer we will do it again. I think that over all it was a nice day.
I'll write more later if I can. For now I am going to go relax.
Monday, April 18, 2011
I don't know what to do.... more of Him, less of Me
Today I am left wanting waiting, my life on hold. Right now there is so much going on in my life that I am not sure where to even start. I will go into details about the specific events as they are not that important to for you to know. What I will go into though is my reactions to the actions these situations have brought on.
First and fore most, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. Eccl. 12:14
At the moment I have a very rebellious young man living in my house. Adam just recently turned 16. He now thinks he is equal to Mike and I. That being said he has challenged us more then ever lately. Adam is now learning that hard way. Today I think he is starting to understand his need (and God's and our command) to be obedient.
That brings to my thought for today. How often do we need to learn things the hard way? Have you ever been so stubborn that you would not give in even if you were proved wrong? Have you ever had the fight or flight adrenaline rush and stayed to fight? If you said no, then you are lieing. It is in our nature to question things, to question God, to put our foot down and say it's my way or the highway bub! But then someone bigger, stronger, meaner with a more stubborn attitude comes along and knock you down a few notches, or worse of all flat on your back. If you have ever broken your tail bone then you know how badly that hurts, to walk, to sit to lay down. It is painful. It take a longer time to heal also. If you think that is bad just look at what God can do, or allow to be done to you.
Job 2:6 & part of 7 - And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life. So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job...
Job's response to the criticism thrown at him towards God:
Job 42:1-6 Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not. Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
If only we could all be like Job!!! To have such faith and love for God that you would go through any trial and tribulation for Him. I can only hope and pray that God gives me the strength needed to pass through any tribulation that is thrown my way and end up praising His glorious name for it. Now I know that Job was not disobedient to God; as Adam has been. But he was tormented. I think we all need to step back and take a god look at our hearts. How much are we rebellious towards God? How does God really see us? UGH!!! What a question! To look at myself through God's eyes is horrible!! Yes Adam has been defiant and rebellious as of late, but in reality we all are in you stop to think about it.
Anyhow, Adam has been challenging us so much and most people are shocked about that as he seems to be a great kid. He just needs to learn what it means to be submissive. Being submissive isn't letting someone rule you with an iron fist. It is humbling yourself so much that you put the other person's authority over you.
******************************************************************************8
Ok, so I wrote the above a few days ago and then was unable to finish it. It is now early Monrday morning and the really challenging moments with Adm has subsided. I think I am starting to see a more obedient son. I like this not because it means we have less fights. I like it because he is not cow-towing to me. He is truly being humbled and submissive. Sometimes we need to back off and let God work His majic...
That being said, today I learned a valuable lesson, that I really did not want to have to learn. I have a huge problem with genuinely, honestly and with 100% trust someone, anyone.... The only person I trust as much as I can at the moment is my husband and Daniel. Adam I love, seriously I really do, but because of his rebellious and defiant attitude I have a harder time trusting him.
There is this lady whom I have recently had a confrontation with. I seriously thought I was in the right for the most part. Now I did admit I could have been wrong and I should have handled the situation a bit more calmly, but this other person wasn't admitting anything... So, of course, in my screwed up human nature that got me frustrated... and a bit hurt. Now, I know I am far from perfect but I also know that I did not entirely cause the situation by myself.... Well, because of this initial situation things sort of got out of hand. I was very sweetly reminded by a terrific brother in the Lord that it blew up because I didn't trust God (and those helping mediate this situation) to handle it. I gave it to them to rectify and then I took it back. You ever do that? I am so guilty of that.... I like to say that I am always trusting God to work in my life to make me the best person I can. But do I??? I think I do. I just have a hard time trusting someone who may not match or compliment my personality.
You know the weird thing is I could probably really like this lady. she's smart, confident, a go getter, got her head on straight, a great homeschooling mom and a teacher... I do not know because I have never taken the time to get to know her as I have always sensed tension between us, but I suspect she is a very sweet funny enjoyable person to be around. So, I have to say I am deeply sorry for my harsh judgment of you, you know who you are.....
God, please bless this woman in all her life. Bless her children, her husband and her co-workers. Help this woman have peace in her life and feel loved and comforted by those around her. Give her your peace that passes understanding...
Now, the mediators that are helping with this situation are so nice and understanding while also keeping a very neutral open mind. It is so nice to have a fresh perspective that has been led by God, for that is the only way they could have realized some of the underlining issues... my issues. yup, that is right, for someone who thought she really acted in a proper manner found out she was a fool! we are learning a lot about fools on Sunday mornings. I always thought of myself as anything but a fool! I had not htought that I was hindering the mediators by stepping in and trying to help. I thought I was truly helping.... In my rush to get things taken care of I screwed it up. I know that sounds fmailiar to a lot of people out there, not just to me huh?
But PRIDE goes before destruction...
Personal
Reflection
Is
Deemed
Exceptional
Sound familiar? At this comment I know that is is not describing me. this afternoon before meeting up with these families it was me... so, I guess I'm trying to say a couple of things here... Don't think too highly of yourself because God will do something to make you fall flat on your face, which hurts quite a lot! don't judge someone before getting to know them. Lastly, WATCH OUT FOR PRIDE!!! It can come as a soft voice, reminding you that you wouldn't act like that person, or it could be bold and boasting... It could be well, I wouldn't have picked that dress to wear or thinking that my house is cleaner then so and so's... It cold be unnoticeable to you or it could be right there in the open. Watch for it, cause it will get you bit each and every time whether you realize it or not...
Let go and Let God has taken a whole new meaning to me now.
So thank you for listening to my rantings and my babbling. I really write this blog for me but I do enjoy hearing your feedback. Please comment or msg me with any comments thoughts, ideas or advice. God Bless!
Trisha
First and fore most, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. Eccl. 12:14
At the moment I have a very rebellious young man living in my house. Adam just recently turned 16. He now thinks he is equal to Mike and I. That being said he has challenged us more then ever lately. Adam is now learning that hard way. Today I think he is starting to understand his need (and God's and our command) to be obedient.
That brings to my thought for today. How often do we need to learn things the hard way? Have you ever been so stubborn that you would not give in even if you were proved wrong? Have you ever had the fight or flight adrenaline rush and stayed to fight? If you said no, then you are lieing. It is in our nature to question things, to question God, to put our foot down and say it's my way or the highway bub! But then someone bigger, stronger, meaner with a more stubborn attitude comes along and knock you down a few notches, or worse of all flat on your back. If you have ever broken your tail bone then you know how badly that hurts, to walk, to sit to lay down. It is painful. It take a longer time to heal also. If you think that is bad just look at what God can do, or allow to be done to you.
Job 2:6 & part of 7 - And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life. So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job...
Job's response to the criticism thrown at him towards God:
Job 42:1-6 Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not. Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
If only we could all be like Job!!! To have such faith and love for God that you would go through any trial and tribulation for Him. I can only hope and pray that God gives me the strength needed to pass through any tribulation that is thrown my way and end up praising His glorious name for it. Now I know that Job was not disobedient to God; as Adam has been. But he was tormented. I think we all need to step back and take a god look at our hearts. How much are we rebellious towards God? How does God really see us? UGH!!! What a question! To look at myself through God's eyes is horrible!! Yes Adam has been defiant and rebellious as of late, but in reality we all are in you stop to think about it.
Anyhow, Adam has been challenging us so much and most people are shocked about that as he seems to be a great kid. He just needs to learn what it means to be submissive. Being submissive isn't letting someone rule you with an iron fist. It is humbling yourself so much that you put the other person's authority over you.
******************************************************************************8
Ok, so I wrote the above a few days ago and then was unable to finish it. It is now early Monrday morning and the really challenging moments with Adm has subsided. I think I am starting to see a more obedient son. I like this not because it means we have less fights. I like it because he is not cow-towing to me. He is truly being humbled and submissive. Sometimes we need to back off and let God work His majic...
That being said, today I learned a valuable lesson, that I really did not want to have to learn. I have a huge problem with genuinely, honestly and with 100% trust someone, anyone.... The only person I trust as much as I can at the moment is my husband and Daniel. Adam I love, seriously I really do, but because of his rebellious and defiant attitude I have a harder time trusting him.
There is this lady whom I have recently had a confrontation with. I seriously thought I was in the right for the most part. Now I did admit I could have been wrong and I should have handled the situation a bit more calmly, but this other person wasn't admitting anything... So, of course, in my screwed up human nature that got me frustrated... and a bit hurt. Now, I know I am far from perfect but I also know that I did not entirely cause the situation by myself.... Well, because of this initial situation things sort of got out of hand. I was very sweetly reminded by a terrific brother in the Lord that it blew up because I didn't trust God (and those helping mediate this situation) to handle it. I gave it to them to rectify and then I took it back. You ever do that? I am so guilty of that.... I like to say that I am always trusting God to work in my life to make me the best person I can. But do I??? I think I do. I just have a hard time trusting someone who may not match or compliment my personality.
You know the weird thing is I could probably really like this lady. she's smart, confident, a go getter, got her head on straight, a great homeschooling mom and a teacher... I do not know because I have never taken the time to get to know her as I have always sensed tension between us, but I suspect she is a very sweet funny enjoyable person to be around. So, I have to say I am deeply sorry for my harsh judgment of you, you know who you are.....
God, please bless this woman in all her life. Bless her children, her husband and her co-workers. Help this woman have peace in her life and feel loved and comforted by those around her. Give her your peace that passes understanding...
Now, the mediators that are helping with this situation are so nice and understanding while also keeping a very neutral open mind. It is so nice to have a fresh perspective that has been led by God, for that is the only way they could have realized some of the underlining issues... my issues. yup, that is right, for someone who thought she really acted in a proper manner found out she was a fool! we are learning a lot about fools on Sunday mornings. I always thought of myself as anything but a fool! I had not htought that I was hindering the mediators by stepping in and trying to help. I thought I was truly helping.... In my rush to get things taken care of I screwed it up. I know that sounds fmailiar to a lot of people out there, not just to me huh?
But PRIDE goes before destruction...
Personal
Reflection
Is
Deemed
Exceptional
Sound familiar? At this comment I know that is is not describing me. this afternoon before meeting up with these families it was me... so, I guess I'm trying to say a couple of things here... Don't think too highly of yourself because God will do something to make you fall flat on your face, which hurts quite a lot! don't judge someone before getting to know them. Lastly, WATCH OUT FOR PRIDE!!! It can come as a soft voice, reminding you that you wouldn't act like that person, or it could be bold and boasting... It could be well, I wouldn't have picked that dress to wear or thinking that my house is cleaner then so and so's... It cold be unnoticeable to you or it could be right there in the open. Watch for it, cause it will get you bit each and every time whether you realize it or not...
Let go and Let God has taken a whole new meaning to me now.
So thank you for listening to my rantings and my babbling. I really write this blog for me but I do enjoy hearing your feedback. Please comment or msg me with any comments thoughts, ideas or advice. God Bless!
Trisha
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
man's innate nature
why? I sit back and I ask myself why? how? where did I go wrong?
We are all human and we are all full of sin. We are evil decrepit animated dirt balls. I knwo that sounds awful but it is the truth and sometimes the truth actually does hurt.
What man will do to man is unfathomable and incomprehensible. I just don't get it.
Today is going to be a long long day. Bible Study tonight though so that will be good.
We are all human and we are all full of sin. We are evil decrepit animated dirt balls. I knwo that sounds awful but it is the truth and sometimes the truth actually does hurt.
What man will do to man is unfathomable and incomprehensible. I just don't get it.
Today is going to be a long long day. Bible Study tonight though so that will be good.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
things on my mind
So many things floating around bumping into each other in this head of mine. Today has been unusual but enjoyable. Yesterday was stressful but also quite enjoyable. I have learned a lot over the last 2 days about relationships, with each other as humans and with humans and God. Mostly I have learned about my relationship with God. What it means to me, how it affets my friends and family, how it affects people I interact with here in the internet and in real life have all been things I have grown to understand.
Now, I do not imagine, in any sense of the way, that I know all about this topic as I have so much more to learn. I think that is one of the greatest things about the greatest minds in history; to my knowledge they all acknowledge that they still have more to learn.
Yesterday I was faced with an irritated mom, whom I did not agree with. I thought her negativity was not conducive to the situation she was in. After mentioning this to her, in as loving a way as I could while being upset myself, she became very hostile towards me. This threw me for a loop as I did not expect this situation to arise, really, who ever does though? I could have been upset and let this ruin my day but I chose to give the situation to God. I knew it would just anger me and it would fester. Then later in the day I was taken off gaurd again and asked to babysit a freind's daughter whom I have never watched before. Of course I said yes but I was leary about it. All my worry was for naught as they child was wonderfully behaved.
Then it comes to this morning. Prayer meeting at church went the same as it always does and I felt blessed. I have thought this thought before but was sort of afraid of sounding stupid saying it out loud. I was nervous telling the person it was about because I barely know the man. You know the little voice you get in your head that encourages you to do or not to do something specific? Lots of people call that your conscience, but not me. I call it a gift from God. To me, well that little voice, it's as if God is speaking directly to me sometimes. so I try to listen to it. I listened to it this morning at prayer. I mentioned to this gentleman that his prayers were a blessing to me. they are sweet, loving, full of worship and praise, from the heart. He quotes scriptures relevant to the prayer and sings his prayer at times. I am in awe of how he prayers. Now, I have no idea what this man thought of my comment but I know that I felt better saying it out loud. I could have let this thought stay hidden inside me and then I would have missed out on a terrific feeling and blessing God gave me.
You know children never really do what you wish them to do, not even when they are teenagers. Mine seem to think that I am on their beck and call every minute of every day. Now I want them to know that I am here if they need me but I also want them to be independent and resourceful. I want them to become their own person with their own identity. I do not want them to rely on me forever, as I will not be here on Earth that long. I will not be living with them as adults nor will I able to help them at their jobs so they NEED to learn to be more independent. This weekend we put our foot down with the kids. Well, actually we did it last weekend but this weekend we reiterated it. I think it finally sunk in. lol There have been so many times that I have gone to a neighbor's place or to the local school or library by myself while they kids stayed home. Usually I am gone for less then an hour but I get a phone cal or a knock on the neighbor's door by one of my kids. My kids are 16 & 13. There really is no need for these frequent interruptions. lol So, today when Mike and I went on our date I expected a call at least from one of the kids. It was bliss not being interrupted on our date. I think the kids finally have learned!!! woo hoo!!!! lol
Te other thing about teens (or any child) not doing what you wish them to do would be related to chores. Now, my kids have chores they are required to do and others they can do for pay. Usually if I tell them to do it whether it is for pay or not, they have to do it., it's not a choice. lol One of their chores is to unload the dishwasher. Empty the garbage is also a chore. Now with emptying the garbage, since we live in an apartment complex, taking the trash to the dumpster goes without saying. (One would think, right?) Emptying the dishwasher also includes putting away any clean dishes that are on the counter from hand-washing. Nope, not according to my kids. We have had so many discussions about this and quite a few punishments and still "they forget". my butt they forget!!! They are lazy children! lol Mike says if they do not do as asked they do not eat. lol I like this rule and I think I have to establish it in our lives. You would think that hanging up (in the closet) your coat each time you come in form outside would be a good idea, right? Leaving it out hanging on the door handle just makes the place look messy. Well, my kids have their own warped sense of right and wrong because even after many many many years of telling them to hang it in the closet it still gets hung on the door handle. UGH!!!!! lmbo!!! I knwo teens will be teens but just because their age ends in teen does not give them the right to disobey. It does not give them a free pass to be rude or to be disrespectful. Teenage rebellion is not acceptable in my book. Teenage rebellion is sin. plain and simple.
Yes I may be a bit lenient with my kids when it comes to dishes, hanging up coats or calling me unnecessarily. I agree, i am not the perfect parent. I do know that I am a parent who 1) knows where my kids are at (almost) all times... 2) knows all my kids friends... 3) commands respect and gets it for the most part.... 4) and most importantly, raising my children to love the Lord our God. To me that last one is the deal breaker. It is the clincher. It is the top of the cake. If you have this you have it all. If you do not hav eit you end up wth messed up teens who turn into messed up adults.
So, that is my 2 cents for the night. It's late and tomorrow is churhc. yeah!!!! Please comment if you like as I love to read what you think. Have a blessed Sunday and time worship our Lord and Saviour. :o)
Now, I do not imagine, in any sense of the way, that I know all about this topic as I have so much more to learn. I think that is one of the greatest things about the greatest minds in history; to my knowledge they all acknowledge that they still have more to learn.
Yesterday I was faced with an irritated mom, whom I did not agree with. I thought her negativity was not conducive to the situation she was in. After mentioning this to her, in as loving a way as I could while being upset myself, she became very hostile towards me. This threw me for a loop as I did not expect this situation to arise, really, who ever does though? I could have been upset and let this ruin my day but I chose to give the situation to God. I knew it would just anger me and it would fester. Then later in the day I was taken off gaurd again and asked to babysit a freind's daughter whom I have never watched before. Of course I said yes but I was leary about it. All my worry was for naught as they child was wonderfully behaved.
Then it comes to this morning. Prayer meeting at church went the same as it always does and I felt blessed. I have thought this thought before but was sort of afraid of sounding stupid saying it out loud. I was nervous telling the person it was about because I barely know the man. You know the little voice you get in your head that encourages you to do or not to do something specific? Lots of people call that your conscience, but not me. I call it a gift from God. To me, well that little voice, it's as if God is speaking directly to me sometimes. so I try to listen to it. I listened to it this morning at prayer. I mentioned to this gentleman that his prayers were a blessing to me. they are sweet, loving, full of worship and praise, from the heart. He quotes scriptures relevant to the prayer and sings his prayer at times. I am in awe of how he prayers. Now, I have no idea what this man thought of my comment but I know that I felt better saying it out loud. I could have let this thought stay hidden inside me and then I would have missed out on a terrific feeling and blessing God gave me.
You know children never really do what you wish them to do, not even when they are teenagers. Mine seem to think that I am on their beck and call every minute of every day. Now I want them to know that I am here if they need me but I also want them to be independent and resourceful. I want them to become their own person with their own identity. I do not want them to rely on me forever, as I will not be here on Earth that long. I will not be living with them as adults nor will I able to help them at their jobs so they NEED to learn to be more independent. This weekend we put our foot down with the kids. Well, actually we did it last weekend but this weekend we reiterated it. I think it finally sunk in. lol There have been so many times that I have gone to a neighbor's place or to the local school or library by myself while they kids stayed home. Usually I am gone for less then an hour but I get a phone cal or a knock on the neighbor's door by one of my kids. My kids are 16 & 13. There really is no need for these frequent interruptions. lol So, today when Mike and I went on our date I expected a call at least from one of the kids. It was bliss not being interrupted on our date. I think the kids finally have learned!!! woo hoo!!!! lol
Te other thing about teens (or any child) not doing what you wish them to do would be related to chores. Now, my kids have chores they are required to do and others they can do for pay. Usually if I tell them to do it whether it is for pay or not, they have to do it., it's not a choice. lol One of their chores is to unload the dishwasher. Empty the garbage is also a chore. Now with emptying the garbage, since we live in an apartment complex, taking the trash to the dumpster goes without saying. (One would think, right?) Emptying the dishwasher also includes putting away any clean dishes that are on the counter from hand-washing. Nope, not according to my kids. We have had so many discussions about this and quite a few punishments and still "they forget". my butt they forget!!! They are lazy children! lol Mike says if they do not do as asked they do not eat. lol I like this rule and I think I have to establish it in our lives. You would think that hanging up (in the closet) your coat each time you come in form outside would be a good idea, right? Leaving it out hanging on the door handle just makes the place look messy. Well, my kids have their own warped sense of right and wrong because even after many many many years of telling them to hang it in the closet it still gets hung on the door handle. UGH!!!!! lmbo!!! I knwo teens will be teens but just because their age ends in teen does not give them the right to disobey. It does not give them a free pass to be rude or to be disrespectful. Teenage rebellion is not acceptable in my book. Teenage rebellion is sin. plain and simple.
Yes I may be a bit lenient with my kids when it comes to dishes, hanging up coats or calling me unnecessarily. I agree, i am not the perfect parent. I do know that I am a parent who 1) knows where my kids are at (almost) all times... 2) knows all my kids friends... 3) commands respect and gets it for the most part.... 4) and most importantly, raising my children to love the Lord our God. To me that last one is the deal breaker. It is the clincher. It is the top of the cake. If you have this you have it all. If you do not hav eit you end up wth messed up teens who turn into messed up adults.
So, that is my 2 cents for the night. It's late and tomorrow is churhc. yeah!!!! Please comment if you like as I love to read what you think. Have a blessed Sunday and time worship our Lord and Saviour. :o)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
God's never ending all encompassing love
I know that this is a copy of the note I put up on facebook but I thougth it would be good to post it here too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLJis6ZKRJE
When I was little my sister made this poem up. I have never forgotten it. It still brings joy to my heart.
God is love, that love surrounds us
In His love I safely dwell
'Tis above beneath around us
God is love and all is well.
*****************************************************
Tonight I heard this song on the radio and I thought of my sister's poem.
This song is from JJ Heller:
Love Me
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He's the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?"
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
'Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She's the woman whose husband has run away
She'll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would've stayed
And she says... who'll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
'Cause nobody has shown me what love,
what love really means
He's waiting to die as he sits all alone
He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said...
"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
Today on my way home from Bible Study I heard this song on the radio. I have heard it plenty of times before and each time it breaks my heart. I feel like the people this song is singing about. Well, I used to be like them, but with Christ, I feel whole.... :o)
When the song was over I turned off the radio and prayed, thanking God for who He is and who He has made me become. Then this poem came to mind. so before I forgot it I wrote it down as soon as I got home. I hope you enjoy it.
A Broken Heart Anew
You took me out of mother's beating hands
You took me out of my life of despair
You took my heart, its pieces all apart
You took it in your hands made it like brand new
You took me in your arms made me feel the love from you
There is nothing I can do to make that up to you
So I accept your loving gift and keep it treasured in my soul
Thanking you always for making me whole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLJis6ZKRJE
When I was little my sister made this poem up. I have never forgotten it. It still brings joy to my heart.
God is love, that love surrounds us
In His love I safely dwell
'Tis above beneath around us
God is love and all is well.
*****************************************************
Tonight I heard this song on the radio and I thought of my sister's poem.
This song is from JJ Heller:
Love Me
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He's the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?"
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
'Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She's the woman whose husband has run away
She'll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would've stayed
And she says... who'll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
'Cause nobody has shown me what love,
what love really means
He's waiting to die as he sits all alone
He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said...
"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
Today on my way home from Bible Study I heard this song on the radio. I have heard it plenty of times before and each time it breaks my heart. I feel like the people this song is singing about. Well, I used to be like them, but with Christ, I feel whole.... :o)
When the song was over I turned off the radio and prayed, thanking God for who He is and who He has made me become. Then this poem came to mind. so before I forgot it I wrote it down as soon as I got home. I hope you enjoy it.
A Broken Heart Anew
You took me out of mother's beating hands
You took me out of my life of despair
You took my heart, its pieces all apart
You took it in your hands made it like brand new
You took me in your arms made me feel the love from you
There is nothing I can do to make that up to you
So I accept your loving gift and keep it treasured in my soul
Thanking you always for making me whole
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
my anger.....
Tonight I am angry. Why? Could it be the teens that are bugging the neighborhood? Or how about the lady that condemned me on facebook? Or even my children that have questioned me at every step today? Nope, none of those things are making me angry.
Today I am angry at myself. why? Well, lately there has been a whole lot of stress on my plate. I have been dealing with it on my own, with the help of some wonderful friends who have let me vent to them. So, since I have "reasons" to be angry at the things that are going on why am I angry at myself? Did you notice that I put the word reasons in quotations? There is a method to my madness. lol
So I have reasons to be angry, so what! Does that give me the right to take that stress on everyone else? NO! Does that give me the right to complain and vent to my friends? NO! Does it give me the right to be self-centered? (Well, I have had a rough day so that is why I am grumpy.) NO! Just because I have a reason to have those feelings I do not have to have them. I could go to God. I could give those feelings to Him. I could, but I didn't, until just now.
UGH!!!! Now I am angry at myself for not going to God lie I should have in the first place. But if there is one thing I have learned over the years I have been alive, it is not to dwell on the has beens and could haves; not to dwell on what should have been done or where I went wrong. You cannot change the past.
So right now, this second I pray that God corrects my selfish dirty heart. No matter how people treat me or how many bad things happen to me and my family, I have no write to complain or be grumpy. God has given me life! LIFE!!!!! Life beyond this Earthly body. He has given me ETERNAL LIFE! all for FREE
God is good and I am sorry. :o( I know He forgives me for my actions and my lack of actions. He is always there to hold me tight and make me feel better.
So, I thank you God for holding me tight and comforting me. I thank you for providing a way, through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, for me to spend eternity with you. I love you because you first loved me.
Today I am angry at myself. why? Well, lately there has been a whole lot of stress on my plate. I have been dealing with it on my own, with the help of some wonderful friends who have let me vent to them. So, since I have "reasons" to be angry at the things that are going on why am I angry at myself? Did you notice that I put the word reasons in quotations? There is a method to my madness. lol
So I have reasons to be angry, so what! Does that give me the right to take that stress on everyone else? NO! Does that give me the right to complain and vent to my friends? NO! Does it give me the right to be self-centered? (Well, I have had a rough day so that is why I am grumpy.) NO! Just because I have a reason to have those feelings I do not have to have them. I could go to God. I could give those feelings to Him. I could, but I didn't, until just now.
UGH!!!! Now I am angry at myself for not going to God lie I should have in the first place. But if there is one thing I have learned over the years I have been alive, it is not to dwell on the has beens and could haves; not to dwell on what should have been done or where I went wrong. You cannot change the past.
So right now, this second I pray that God corrects my selfish dirty heart. No matter how people treat me or how many bad things happen to me and my family, I have no write to complain or be grumpy. God has given me life! LIFE!!!!! Life beyond this Earthly body. He has given me ETERNAL LIFE! all for FREE
God is good and I am sorry. :o( I know He forgives me for my actions and my lack of actions. He is always there to hold me tight and make me feel better.
So, I thank you God for holding me tight and comforting me. I thank you for providing a way, through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, for me to spend eternity with you. I love you because you first loved me.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
wishing
Right now I am wishing my heart away. There are so many things that I wish were better then they are. Family, schooling, health, life. Ok, so that is really vague. lol I know. I'll try to be a bit more specific.
I wish:
I knew what was going on with Grandpa Mark.
I knew how to motivate my kids to do chores without being badgered.
That the house would get clean on it's own.
That emotions wouldn't be swayed from one extreme to the other so quickly.
That family members would communicate civilly with each other and at least attempt to have some sort of relationship.
I could sit here and be held by my husband watching a sweet movie together.
Ok, so there is my pity party, all done now. lol
I know that there isn't anything I can do about someone's salvation as long as I have witnessed to them, lived my life as Christ would and keep that person in prayer. Their salvation is their responsibility.
I know that teens are inherently lazy, especially boys. They are also oblivious to seeing messes and things that need to be straightened up.
I know for a fact that the house does not clean itself up. There are no cleaning fairies that come out while we are all sleeping and clean the place from top to bottom. Cleaning is my job and do it I must sooner or later.
Emotions are like roller coasters. You never know when they will spin you in circles or plunge you into the dark. The only thing you can do is hold on tight and go for the ride. Wearing the seat belt (Jesus Christ) keeps you place so when things even out you are still sitting comfortably. During the ride though try to keep some order of control over them, as best you can and remember, they do not define you or the situation.
Again, I know that I can not control other people's actions. Just like salvation, other people are responsible for their own attitudes towards their family members. The only thing we can do is be true to who God has made us become. Act like Christ wants us to act and treat those family member's just as you would treat those who love you as much as you love them.
Tonight is Wednesday night so it's Bible Study night. I have to drive Jen and I to church and back again. So the movie will have to wait for another night.
What I know most of all is that Christ loves us so much that He gave His life, knowing full well the whole time, that he would be beaten beyond recognition, tortured by many people, mocked horribly, nailed to a piece of wood, hung up to die and then buried in a grave. He did all this also full well knowing that He didn't have to give his life up. He is God Almighty, He could wish people to bow to Him, he could kill those who won't instantaneously, he could have legions of angels come and take him off that cross and heal His every wound. He did not have to come to the Earth, this creation of His, just to give us a way to once again be with Him for eternity.
But He did.
He did all that because He loves me. He love you. He loves us. His love is so vast and so strong tat we can't even begin to understand it's complexity and it's depth. But it is at the same it is so simple a child can grasp it.
He died, willingly, put his life on the line, so that we may have an opportunity to be with Him for eternity. That I cannot even begin to say thank you for. No one can. The only thing we can do, all He wants us to do, is to live as he lived, full of love, compassion, understanding, and to be true. While doing all those things do not give into the world's view of how things should be. Be in the world but not part of the world.
So, that is my goal today, to be His light. I pray (very deeply pray) that I will be able to do just that.
I wish:
I knew what was going on with Grandpa Mark.
I knew how to motivate my kids to do chores without being badgered.
That the house would get clean on it's own.
That emotions wouldn't be swayed from one extreme to the other so quickly.
That family members would communicate civilly with each other and at least attempt to have some sort of relationship.
I could sit here and be held by my husband watching a sweet movie together.
Ok, so there is my pity party, all done now. lol
I know that there isn't anything I can do about someone's salvation as long as I have witnessed to them, lived my life as Christ would and keep that person in prayer. Their salvation is their responsibility.
I know that teens are inherently lazy, especially boys. They are also oblivious to seeing messes and things that need to be straightened up.
I know for a fact that the house does not clean itself up. There are no cleaning fairies that come out while we are all sleeping and clean the place from top to bottom. Cleaning is my job and do it I must sooner or later.
Emotions are like roller coasters. You never know when they will spin you in circles or plunge you into the dark. The only thing you can do is hold on tight and go for the ride. Wearing the seat belt (Jesus Christ) keeps you place so when things even out you are still sitting comfortably. During the ride though try to keep some order of control over them, as best you can and remember, they do not define you or the situation.
Again, I know that I can not control other people's actions. Just like salvation, other people are responsible for their own attitudes towards their family members. The only thing we can do is be true to who God has made us become. Act like Christ wants us to act and treat those family member's just as you would treat those who love you as much as you love them.
Tonight is Wednesday night so it's Bible Study night. I have to drive Jen and I to church and back again. So the movie will have to wait for another night.
What I know most of all is that Christ loves us so much that He gave His life, knowing full well the whole time, that he would be beaten beyond recognition, tortured by many people, mocked horribly, nailed to a piece of wood, hung up to die and then buried in a grave. He did all this also full well knowing that He didn't have to give his life up. He is God Almighty, He could wish people to bow to Him, he could kill those who won't instantaneously, he could have legions of angels come and take him off that cross and heal His every wound. He did not have to come to the Earth, this creation of His, just to give us a way to once again be with Him for eternity.
But He did.
He did all that because He loves me. He love you. He loves us. His love is so vast and so strong tat we can't even begin to understand it's complexity and it's depth. But it is at the same it is so simple a child can grasp it.
He died, willingly, put his life on the line, so that we may have an opportunity to be with Him for eternity. That I cannot even begin to say thank you for. No one can. The only thing we can do, all He wants us to do, is to live as he lived, full of love, compassion, understanding, and to be true. While doing all those things do not give into the world's view of how things should be. Be in the world but not part of the world.
So, that is my goal today, to be His light. I pray (very deeply pray) that I will be able to do just that.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
standing firm, getting filled
Today is a blah day. Today Adam woke up and then threw up. UGH!!!! So, I stay home. That is ok with me I guess because I still don't feel the greatest. I really wish I felt better.
Today, I received a terrific private message on my Facebook page that was very encouraging. It is helping me stand firm on my faith, not that I was not firm already, mind you. It's just that some days I feel lost. It's sort of like why am I here? or why continue to try to get people to see that there is a huge bus coming really fast getting ready to plow those who don't believe in Christ down when no one seems to listen anyway? Then, today I get this nice sweet encouraging message. It was very uplifting.... So you know how you are and I thank you very much.
Sickness has been going around in our house for sometime now. I wish that all the germies would just go away. I hate being sick. Being sick reminds me of just how frail our human bodies are, physically and spiritually. It's the spiritual part that is bothering me the most lately. I just wish people would wake up. I wish people would see that the human race sucks. I wish that people would see that only life with God can fill us. We have become such a hedonistic society. It is very discouraging.
Hedonism is a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good according to wikipedia.com. A hedonist is a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification.
Well, that just about describes most of the people I know, even the Christian ones. Even myself at times. I find it sad that in our culture, in the US, people strive to have a better life by acquiring more stuff hoping it will fulfill in them the desires that they have. After all is said and done there is still this empty hole inside of us yearning to be filled. Nothing we do, or buy, or say, or get is able to fill that hole. Only one thing and one thing only ca fill that void, that hole, that abyss.
I know you are all thinking oh here we go again but it is so true!!! I have lived 36 years on this Earth. 7 of those years were in pain and fear, living with my biological parents being beaten and abused more way then you can imagine. 14 years I was in a foster home with a loving Christian family. 16 years (almost 17) have been with my wonderful husband. In all that time I have searched for a way to fill that void. Some days that void is full to the brim, other days it feels as though it will never be full. On the days that I feel it full to the brim are the days that I trust in the Lord, days that I relinquish my own desires and make His desires mine. On the days that it seems like it will never be full are the days that rely on my own strength and my own decision making. These days are the ones that I tend me be more depressed and more easily upset and moody. On the days that I am trusting in Him I feel a weight lifted off of me, at least to some degree.
You see, so for me it has held true, always has and always will, that trusting on the Lord, God Almighty, is not only holding my hand as I walk through life, he is carrying me when I can no longer stand.
Only God has been able to fill the void, that hole that abyss in my life. Only God ever can. I have learned that nothing I do will ever fill that void. I have learned that being hedonistic only digs that void deeper. I have done a lot of screwed up things in my life. I have seen others do messed up things in their life, too. Coming to the saving grace of our Lord Jesus is the only thing that can ever fill that void. I hve never found anything that comes close to His power and love.
I know I am babbling today. my mind is wandering a lot it seems. I pray you all have a terrifically blessed day and May you always rely in the salvation of our Lord and Saviour to help hold you strong and walking in His light. :o)
Today, I received a terrific private message on my Facebook page that was very encouraging. It is helping me stand firm on my faith, not that I was not firm already, mind you. It's just that some days I feel lost. It's sort of like why am I here? or why continue to try to get people to see that there is a huge bus coming really fast getting ready to plow those who don't believe in Christ down when no one seems to listen anyway? Then, today I get this nice sweet encouraging message. It was very uplifting.... So you know how you are and I thank you very much.
Sickness has been going around in our house for sometime now. I wish that all the germies would just go away. I hate being sick. Being sick reminds me of just how frail our human bodies are, physically and spiritually. It's the spiritual part that is bothering me the most lately. I just wish people would wake up. I wish people would see that the human race sucks. I wish that people would see that only life with God can fill us. We have become such a hedonistic society. It is very discouraging.
Hedonism is a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good according to wikipedia.com. A hedonist is a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification.
Well, that just about describes most of the people I know, even the Christian ones. Even myself at times. I find it sad that in our culture, in the US, people strive to have a better life by acquiring more stuff hoping it will fulfill in them the desires that they have. After all is said and done there is still this empty hole inside of us yearning to be filled. Nothing we do, or buy, or say, or get is able to fill that hole. Only one thing and one thing only ca fill that void, that hole, that abyss.
I know you are all thinking oh here we go again but it is so true!!! I have lived 36 years on this Earth. 7 of those years were in pain and fear, living with my biological parents being beaten and abused more way then you can imagine. 14 years I was in a foster home with a loving Christian family. 16 years (almost 17) have been with my wonderful husband. In all that time I have searched for a way to fill that void. Some days that void is full to the brim, other days it feels as though it will never be full. On the days that I feel it full to the brim are the days that I trust in the Lord, days that I relinquish my own desires and make His desires mine. On the days that it seems like it will never be full are the days that rely on my own strength and my own decision making. These days are the ones that I tend me be more depressed and more easily upset and moody. On the days that I am trusting in Him I feel a weight lifted off of me, at least to some degree.
You see, so for me it has held true, always has and always will, that trusting on the Lord, God Almighty, is not only holding my hand as I walk through life, he is carrying me when I can no longer stand.
Only God has been able to fill the void, that hole that abyss in my life. Only God ever can. I have learned that nothing I do will ever fill that void. I have learned that being hedonistic only digs that void deeper. I have done a lot of screwed up things in my life. I have seen others do messed up things in their life, too. Coming to the saving grace of our Lord Jesus is the only thing that can ever fill that void. I hve never found anything that comes close to His power and love.
I know I am babbling today. my mind is wandering a lot it seems. I pray you all have a terrifically blessed day and May you always rely in the salvation of our Lord and Saviour to help hold you strong and walking in His light. :o)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Mike is sick, I am sick, Adam is sick - Daniel not so much.
Today is an unusual day. Mike is home from work, sick. Yup, I said it. The man who NEVER EVER calls into work sick called in this morning.
No, he does not have a runny nose, a cough or a stomach ache. He is dizzy still. He said he feels a bit like he is drunk. lol Now anyone who knows Mike knows he doesn't drink hardly and when he does he is a "lightweight" as the saying goes. It takes very little alcohol to make him feel buzzed. (Not that it takes a lot of alcohol to make me feel buzzed though, In fact I drink less then he does and I can't even finish one wine cooler!)
Today Mike is still in bed. He is never in bed this late! Well, I can't say never because he is in bed right now so saying never wouldn't be accurate. lol
I find it funny in a weird sort of way as to how our bodies react to situations. We can make ourselves more comfortable just by thinking of happy thoughts and relaxing places. We can make ourselves sick by worrying and/or being anxious. Our body can break out in hives from being nervous. God's creation can be ruled by emotions. If we let it, that is.
I know sometimes, it is hard to avoid the way our body reacts to situations. If we try I think we can change, even if it is ever so slightly, the natural bodily reactions to some situations. I am not sure how though. I'm sure there has to be a way though. God didn't make us defective or imperfect. He made us in His image, He is perfect. In His image, is a reflection of Him, perfection.
I found a site this mornign that talks about how you can help common ailments through food. I am going to see if it helps Mike today. I'll let you know. Right now I have to say good bye and go take care of my family.
Talk to you again soon I hope.
No, he does not have a runny nose, a cough or a stomach ache. He is dizzy still. He said he feels a bit like he is drunk. lol Now anyone who knows Mike knows he doesn't drink hardly and when he does he is a "lightweight" as the saying goes. It takes very little alcohol to make him feel buzzed. (Not that it takes a lot of alcohol to make me feel buzzed though, In fact I drink less then he does and I can't even finish one wine cooler!)
Today Mike is still in bed. He is never in bed this late! Well, I can't say never because he is in bed right now so saying never wouldn't be accurate. lol
I find it funny in a weird sort of way as to how our bodies react to situations. We can make ourselves more comfortable just by thinking of happy thoughts and relaxing places. We can make ourselves sick by worrying and/or being anxious. Our body can break out in hives from being nervous. God's creation can be ruled by emotions. If we let it, that is.
I know sometimes, it is hard to avoid the way our body reacts to situations. If we try I think we can change, even if it is ever so slightly, the natural bodily reactions to some situations. I am not sure how though. I'm sure there has to be a way though. God didn't make us defective or imperfect. He made us in His image, He is perfect. In His image, is a reflection of Him, perfection.
I found a site this mornign that talks about how you can help common ailments through food. I am going to see if it helps Mike today. I'll let you know. Right now I have to say good bye and go take care of my family.
Talk to you again soon I hope.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
worried sick
Literally.
Have you ever worried so much that it physically maked you sick? Well, that is what is happening here. I am actually sick, so is Adam. Ok so we are not horribly sick but mildly so, with actual viruses or germs of some sort. We have been for a bit now. I have a mild sore throat and a very mildly sore ear. Adam has the tail end of a cold. Daniel seems to be feeling just fine. Mike however, was perfectly fine until he heard news of his grandfather being admitted to the hospital agian. His grandfather is 93 and unsaved.
You see, it is totally human and normal to worry about those we love. When things are beyond our control we tend to worry about the outcome. For Mike though, he is not normal. lol I mean that in the nicest, most loving way possible, just to inform you. My husband is an Aspie, meaning he has Asperger's Syndrome. He is mildly affected but still has a lot of issues with handling and experiencing emotions. We have been married for 16 years now and he has only cried one time since I met him 18 years ago. He usually closes off any emotions he might have because he doesn't understand them and then make him feel uncomfortable. (Aspies tend to do that.) he is terrific (not in a good way) at compartmentalizing his feelings and explaining, logically, why he shouldn't and doesn't feel a certain way. He is very logical and it bugs me sometimes! lol
Ok, so what does Mike being an Aspie have to do with getting sick? Well, let me tell you that the mind is a confusing thing. One can actually make themselves sick with worry and anxiety. Mike wasn't sick before hearing the news of his grandfather's condition, which I will tell you later in this post. He only started feeling off AFTER I told him the news, then even worse when he couldn't meet up with his mom at the hospital this evening. All night he has felt "off" he says, sort of dizzy but not exactly, not actually "sick" but certainly not well either.
What do I mean by being sick? Well his stomach is off and he has little appetite. He feels a bit might headed and slightly dizzy. By the time he went to bed (about a half hour ago) he was feeling worse then he did when he arrived home. I know most of you probably think I am blowing things out of proportion and seeing things that are not there. I am not. I know my husband. This has happened many times before. Some might say it it can be easily rectified by giving it to God and I would totally agree with you. It is a very hard thing to do. It is. I know. Mike's anxiety, and feeling out of control makes his anxieties worse, has made his feel off more times then I can count. Usually it only lasts a short while, a day or two. I pray that is the case this time.
Anyhow, Mike's grandfather, Mark, was having chest pains all last week and the doctor did some tests on his heart. His medicine was adjusted on Friday and he was sent home. Then earlier today he started having really bad chest pains again. He called 911 and was taken to the ER where he was found to have had a heart attack. During an angioplasty surgery 2 small blockages were found in an area that cannot be reached and his stint, which was placed two years ago, had collapsed. They reopened the stint. After surgery he was experiencing even more pain and the doctor's were worried. Mark went in for a second surgery where more work was done on his heart. He is now recovering slowly in the hospital. His heart is in bad condition as it is and his kidneys are barely working. The tests and the surgeries have made both those issues worse. The next 24 hours are critical for his health, and more so for his salvation.
This is where all the worry and feeling sick comes in. Mark is not saved. I love the man very much so. I have never really known my own grandfather and over the years I have gotten very close to Mike's grandfather, Mark. He is knowledgeable and smart. He is funny and enjoyable to talk to. He cares about those he loves very much. He wants to see nothing but the best for his family and friends. He is a self made man. He started his own business and did very well for himself over the years. His knowledge has helped him acquire a lot in this world, tangible things and not so tangible things. He feels he does not need salvation. He has been a good enough person. But oh how he is wrong!!!!!! Even the best person in the world is still a sinner. He will not listen to us about salvation and when God is brought up (as it usually is with us) he shuts down and changes the subject. He is a stubborn, old, catholic, Italian man who is very prideful but we do love him so.
None of us are perfect, especially me. I am not here to condemn the man just to point out his refusal for salvation. This is what is making Mike sick. He is worried more about Mark's salvation and eternal resting place, then he is about whether or not Mark makes it through this ordeal alive.
My husband has a huge heart. He is caring, loving and attentive. He just doesn't always know how to show it but it's there. I wish I could make him feel better. I wish I could take this worry away from him. I wish, I pray Mark would get saved. To see him know the Lord like we do, better then us, would be the most wonderful thing we could experience right now.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings and my venting. I sit here teary eyed and quietly praying for hte soul of a man that I love very much. Pleae, if you think of it will you pray for him too? Thank you
Have you ever worried so much that it physically maked you sick? Well, that is what is happening here. I am actually sick, so is Adam. Ok so we are not horribly sick but mildly so, with actual viruses or germs of some sort. We have been for a bit now. I have a mild sore throat and a very mildly sore ear. Adam has the tail end of a cold. Daniel seems to be feeling just fine. Mike however, was perfectly fine until he heard news of his grandfather being admitted to the hospital agian. His grandfather is 93 and unsaved.
You see, it is totally human and normal to worry about those we love. When things are beyond our control we tend to worry about the outcome. For Mike though, he is not normal. lol I mean that in the nicest, most loving way possible, just to inform you. My husband is an Aspie, meaning he has Asperger's Syndrome. He is mildly affected but still has a lot of issues with handling and experiencing emotions. We have been married for 16 years now and he has only cried one time since I met him 18 years ago. He usually closes off any emotions he might have because he doesn't understand them and then make him feel uncomfortable. (Aspies tend to do that.) he is terrific (not in a good way) at compartmentalizing his feelings and explaining, logically, why he shouldn't and doesn't feel a certain way. He is very logical and it bugs me sometimes! lol
Ok, so what does Mike being an Aspie have to do with getting sick? Well, let me tell you that the mind is a confusing thing. One can actually make themselves sick with worry and anxiety. Mike wasn't sick before hearing the news of his grandfather's condition, which I will tell you later in this post. He only started feeling off AFTER I told him the news, then even worse when he couldn't meet up with his mom at the hospital this evening. All night he has felt "off" he says, sort of dizzy but not exactly, not actually "sick" but certainly not well either.
What do I mean by being sick? Well his stomach is off and he has little appetite. He feels a bit might headed and slightly dizzy. By the time he went to bed (about a half hour ago) he was feeling worse then he did when he arrived home. I know most of you probably think I am blowing things out of proportion and seeing things that are not there. I am not. I know my husband. This has happened many times before. Some might say it it can be easily rectified by giving it to God and I would totally agree with you. It is a very hard thing to do. It is. I know. Mike's anxiety, and feeling out of control makes his anxieties worse, has made his feel off more times then I can count. Usually it only lasts a short while, a day or two. I pray that is the case this time.
Anyhow, Mike's grandfather, Mark, was having chest pains all last week and the doctor did some tests on his heart. His medicine was adjusted on Friday and he was sent home. Then earlier today he started having really bad chest pains again. He called 911 and was taken to the ER where he was found to have had a heart attack. During an angioplasty surgery 2 small blockages were found in an area that cannot be reached and his stint, which was placed two years ago, had collapsed. They reopened the stint. After surgery he was experiencing even more pain and the doctor's were worried. Mark went in for a second surgery where more work was done on his heart. He is now recovering slowly in the hospital. His heart is in bad condition as it is and his kidneys are barely working. The tests and the surgeries have made both those issues worse. The next 24 hours are critical for his health, and more so for his salvation.
This is where all the worry and feeling sick comes in. Mark is not saved. I love the man very much so. I have never really known my own grandfather and over the years I have gotten very close to Mike's grandfather, Mark. He is knowledgeable and smart. He is funny and enjoyable to talk to. He cares about those he loves very much. He wants to see nothing but the best for his family and friends. He is a self made man. He started his own business and did very well for himself over the years. His knowledge has helped him acquire a lot in this world, tangible things and not so tangible things. He feels he does not need salvation. He has been a good enough person. But oh how he is wrong!!!!!! Even the best person in the world is still a sinner. He will not listen to us about salvation and when God is brought up (as it usually is with us) he shuts down and changes the subject. He is a stubborn, old, catholic, Italian man who is very prideful but we do love him so.
None of us are perfect, especially me. I am not here to condemn the man just to point out his refusal for salvation. This is what is making Mike sick. He is worried more about Mark's salvation and eternal resting place, then he is about whether or not Mark makes it through this ordeal alive.
My husband has a huge heart. He is caring, loving and attentive. He just doesn't always know how to show it but it's there. I wish I could make him feel better. I wish I could take this worry away from him. I wish, I pray Mark would get saved. To see him know the Lord like we do, better then us, would be the most wonderful thing we could experience right now.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings and my venting. I sit here teary eyed and quietly praying for hte soul of a man that I love very much. Pleae, if you think of it will you pray for him too? Thank you
Life is pretty good here.
Written a few days ago.
Mike and the kids are watching Animaniacs, I am sitting near them playing on the computer. Dinner was yummy and everyone ate it all up. That is a good thing! lol
So today I had planned to get all this stuff done you know? I don't even know why I get my hopes up. I end up being way to tired to do anything.... When I do some things it is never the stuff I had planned. It's always normal household chores. lol You know some days I certainly feel like a maid, teacher, nanny and cook for that seems to be all I can manage to get done. lol
So what things would I like to do? Well, First of all I want to make cookies. and bread, and banana bread..... mmmmmmmm Then I wanted to soak in a tub for a while. (NOT! what was I thinking? soaking? that is a laugh!)
Then I had not actually hoped for this today but I would have been over joyed if I had time for it. I want to scrapbook again. I miss it a lot.
I have been trying to take time to do somethings that I haven't seemed to have time to do in the past. I am making the time now. I have put my foot down (so to speak) and decided I was going to read the whole Bible straight through in a year. I have also decided that I have to go through all the pictures I have on the computer and organize them so I can actually find the ones I need when I want them. Seeing as how I have over 19,000 pictures I knwo that will take A LOT of work. but it does need to get done. lol I sure do have my work cut out for me don't I? You know I think I am addicted to using my camera. lol I know there will be a lot of pictures I can delete once I start going through them. I mean I do not need the fuzzy, blurry ones nor do I need multiple copies of similar pictures. lol
What things do you do that keeps you so busy? What things would you like to do that you cannot seem to find the time to do? What takes precedence in your life?
I know that I am also trying to do a woman's books study with a few ladies from church, read the Bible in a year and do daily devotions. I need to be more diligent to get through these everyday. I tend to be a bit lazy when it comes to these things. I pray God gives me strength, energy and desire to do His will each day. I pray you do also.
Mike and the kids are watching Animaniacs, I am sitting near them playing on the computer. Dinner was yummy and everyone ate it all up. That is a good thing! lol
So today I had planned to get all this stuff done you know? I don't even know why I get my hopes up. I end up being way to tired to do anything.... When I do some things it is never the stuff I had planned. It's always normal household chores. lol You know some days I certainly feel like a maid, teacher, nanny and cook for that seems to be all I can manage to get done. lol
So what things would I like to do? Well, First of all I want to make cookies. and bread, and banana bread..... mmmmmmmm Then I wanted to soak in a tub for a while. (NOT! what was I thinking? soaking? that is a laugh!)
Then I had not actually hoped for this today but I would have been over joyed if I had time for it. I want to scrapbook again. I miss it a lot.
I have been trying to take time to do somethings that I haven't seemed to have time to do in the past. I am making the time now. I have put my foot down (so to speak) and decided I was going to read the whole Bible straight through in a year. I have also decided that I have to go through all the pictures I have on the computer and organize them so I can actually find the ones I need when I want them. Seeing as how I have over 19,000 pictures I knwo that will take A LOT of work. but it does need to get done. lol I sure do have my work cut out for me don't I? You know I think I am addicted to using my camera. lol I know there will be a lot of pictures I can delete once I start going through them. I mean I do not need the fuzzy, blurry ones nor do I need multiple copies of similar pictures. lol
What things do you do that keeps you so busy? What things would you like to do that you cannot seem to find the time to do? What takes precedence in your life?
I know that I am also trying to do a woman's books study with a few ladies from church, read the Bible in a year and do daily devotions. I need to be more diligent to get through these everyday. I tend to be a bit lazy when it comes to these things. I pray God gives me strength, energy and desire to do His will each day. I pray you do also.
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