wishing

Right now I am wishing my heart away. There are so many things that I wish were better then they are. Family, schooling, health, life. Ok, so that is really vague. lol I know. I'll try to be a bit more specific.

I wish:

I knew what was going on with Grandpa Mark.
I knew how to motivate my kids to do chores without being badgered. 
That the house would get clean on it's own.
That emotions wouldn't be swayed from one extreme to the other so quickly.
That family members would communicate civilly with each other and at least attempt to have some sort of relationship.
I could sit here and be held by my husband watching a sweet movie together.

Ok, so there is my pity party, all done now. lol
     I know that there isn't anything I can do about someone's salvation as long as I have witnessed to them, lived my life as Christ would and keep that person in prayer. Their salvation is their responsibility.
I know that teens are inherently lazy, especially boys. They are also oblivious to seeing messes and things that need to be straightened up.
     I know for a fact that the house does not clean itself up. There are no cleaning fairies that come out while we are all sleeping and clean the place from top to bottom. Cleaning is my job and do it I must sooner or later.
     Emotions are like roller coasters. You never know when they will spin you in circles or plunge you into the dark. The only thing you can do is hold on tight and go for the ride. Wearing the seat belt (Jesus Christ) keeps you place so when things even out you are still sitting comfortably. During the ride though try to keep some order of control over them, as best you can and remember, they do not define you or the situation.
     Again, I know that I can not control other people's actions. Just like salvation, other people are responsible for their own attitudes towards their family members. The only thing we can do is be true to who God has made us become. Act like Christ wants us to act and treat those family member's just as you would treat those who love you as much as you love them.
      Tonight is Wednesday night so it's Bible Study night. I have to drive Jen and I to church and back again. So the movie will have to wait for another night.

What I know most of all is that Christ loves us so much that He gave His life, knowing full well the whole time, that he would be beaten beyond recognition, tortured by many people, mocked horribly, nailed to a piece of wood, hung up to die and then buried in a grave. He did all this also full well knowing that He didn't have to give his life up. He is God Almighty, He could wish people to bow to Him, he could kill those who won't instantaneously, he could have legions of angels come and take him off that cross and heal His every wound. He did not have to come to the Earth, this creation of His, just to give us a way to once again be with Him for eternity.

But He did.

He did all that because He loves me. He love you. He loves us. His love is so vast and so strong tat we can't even begin to understand it's complexity and it's depth. But it is at the same it is so simple a child can grasp it.

He died, willingly, put his life on the line, so that we may have an opportunity to be with Him for eternity. That I cannot even begin to say thank you for. No one can. The only thing we can do, all He wants us to do, is to live as he lived, full of love, compassion, understanding, and to be true. While doing all those things do not give into the world's view of how things should be. Be in the world but not part of the world.
So, that is my goal today, to be His light. I pray (very deeply pray) that I will be able to do just that.