Today I am left wanting waiting, my life on hold. Right now there is so much going on in my life that I am not sure where to even start. I will go into details about the specific events as they are not that important to for you to know. What I will go into though is my reactions to the actions these situations have brought on.
First and fore most, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. Eccl. 12:14
At the moment I have a very rebellious young man living in my house. Adam just recently turned 16. He now thinks he is equal to Mike and I. That being said he has challenged us more then ever lately. Adam is now learning that hard way. Today I think he is starting to understand his need (and God's and our command) to be obedient.
That brings to my thought for today. How often do we need to learn things the hard way? Have you ever been so stubborn that you would not give in even if you were proved wrong? Have you ever had the fight or flight adrenaline rush and stayed to fight? If you said no, then you are lieing. It is in our nature to question things, to question God, to put our foot down and say it's my way or the highway bub! But then someone bigger, stronger, meaner with a more stubborn attitude comes along and knock you down a few notches, or worse of all flat on your back. If you have ever broken your tail bone then you know how badly that hurts, to walk, to sit to lay down. It is painful. It take a longer time to heal also. If you think that is bad just look at what God can do, or allow to be done to you.
Job 2:6 & part of 7 - And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life. So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job...
Job's response to the criticism thrown at him towards God:
Job 42:1-6 Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not. Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.
If only we could all be like Job!!! To have such faith and love for God that you would go through any trial and tribulation for Him. I can only hope and pray that God gives me the strength needed to pass through any tribulation that is thrown my way and end up praising His glorious name for it. Now I know that Job was not disobedient to God; as Adam has been. But he was tormented. I think we all need to step back and take a god look at our hearts. How much are we rebellious towards God? How does God really see us? UGH!!! What a question! To look at myself through God's eyes is horrible!! Yes Adam has been defiant and rebellious as of late, but in reality we all are in you stop to think about it.
Anyhow, Adam has been challenging us so much and most people are shocked about that as he seems to be a great kid. He just needs to learn what it means to be submissive. Being submissive isn't letting someone rule you with an iron fist. It is humbling yourself so much that you put the other person's authority over you.
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Ok, so I wrote the above a few days ago and then was unable to finish it. It is now early Monrday morning and the really challenging moments with Adm has subsided. I think I am starting to see a more obedient son. I like this not because it means we have less fights. I like it because he is not cow-towing to me. He is truly being humbled and submissive. Sometimes we need to back off and let God work His majic...
That being said, today I learned a valuable lesson, that I really did not want to have to learn. I have a huge problem with genuinely, honestly and with 100% trust someone, anyone.... The only person I trust as much as I can at the moment is my husband and Daniel. Adam I love, seriously I really do, but because of his rebellious and defiant attitude I have a harder time trusting him.
There is this lady whom I have recently had a confrontation with. I seriously thought I was in the right for the most part. Now I did admit I could have been wrong and I should have handled the situation a bit more calmly, but this other person wasn't admitting anything... So, of course, in my screwed up human nature that got me frustrated... and a bit hurt. Now, I know I am far from perfect but I also know that I did not entirely cause the situation by myself.... Well, because of this initial situation things sort of got out of hand. I was very sweetly reminded by a terrific brother in the Lord that it blew up because I didn't trust God (and those helping mediate this situation) to handle it. I gave it to them to rectify and then I took it back. You ever do that? I am so guilty of that.... I like to say that I am always trusting God to work in my life to make me the best person I can. But do I??? I think I do. I just have a hard time trusting someone who may not match or compliment my personality.
You know the weird thing is I could probably really like this lady. she's smart, confident, a go getter, got her head on straight, a great homeschooling mom and a teacher... I do not know because I have never taken the time to get to know her as I have always sensed tension between us, but I suspect she is a very sweet funny enjoyable person to be around. So, I have to say I am deeply sorry for my harsh judgment of you, you know who you are.....
God, please bless this woman in all her life. Bless her children, her husband and her co-workers. Help this woman have peace in her life and feel loved and comforted by those around her. Give her your peace that passes understanding...
Now, the mediators that are helping with this situation are so nice and understanding while also keeping a very neutral open mind. It is so nice to have a fresh perspective that has been led by God, for that is the only way they could have realized some of the underlining issues... my issues. yup, that is right, for someone who thought she really acted in a proper manner found out she was a fool! we are learning a lot about fools on Sunday mornings. I always thought of myself as anything but a fool! I had not htought that I was hindering the mediators by stepping in and trying to help. I thought I was truly helping.... In my rush to get things taken care of I screwed it up. I know that sounds fmailiar to a lot of people out there, not just to me huh?
But PRIDE goes before destruction...
Personal
Reflection
Is
Deemed
Exceptional
Sound familiar? At this comment I know that is is not describing me. this afternoon before meeting up with these families it was me... so, I guess I'm trying to say a couple of things here... Don't think too highly of yourself because God will do something to make you fall flat on your face, which hurts quite a lot! don't judge someone before getting to know them. Lastly, WATCH OUT FOR PRIDE!!! It can come as a soft voice, reminding you that you wouldn't act like that person, or it could be bold and boasting... It could be well, I wouldn't have picked that dress to wear or thinking that my house is cleaner then so and so's... It cold be unnoticeable to you or it could be right there in the open. Watch for it, cause it will get you bit each and every time whether you realize it or not...
Let go and Let God has taken a whole new meaning to me now.
So thank you for listening to my rantings and my babbling. I really write this blog for me but I do enjoy hearing your feedback. Please comment or msg me with any comments thoughts, ideas or advice. God Bless!
Trisha
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