plans change - expect it

Ok , so pride goes before destruction. UGH!!! Why are people so easily swayed by emotions?
WHAT? your probably thinking. lol Ok, so I will start from the beginning.

A while ago a situation came up where one of my friends was affected and upset about something another person was doing towards her. Seeing as how my friend and her family are closer to me then practically anyone else besides Mike, I also took this issue to heart. I began to get upset about the situation in defense of my friend. Well, the other party involved took major offense to it and started getting quite irate with me. Due to this whole situation my whole day was off which affected my husband and children. The next day, being Sunday, we all went to church. I was pretty annoyed still, which was ruining my time in service. anyhow, during service God and I had a talk. I realized that

1 - this situation wasn't really my business
2- that not only was this other person being very prideful, but so was I
3 - keeping my anger under control takes a lot more energy then I thought
and most importantly,
4 - I wasn't giving the situation to God. I was taking care of it and not doing a very good job at it in the process.

After service this other party came up to me and we chatted, the whole issue the day before was apologized for and forgiven. Since then it has not affected our friendship in the least.

So, what does this all have to do with plans changing......... ?
Well, I went to prayer that Saturday I had not idea what would happen, I had not even planned on staying as long as I did. Then on Sunday, I was still upset and not giving it to God. During service I finally gave the issue to Christ and instantly felt better, calmer and more forgiving. Then the person whom I was upset at came to me and straightened things out. I ended up having a wonderfully blessed day.

Plans change again leaving me emotionally spent. Later that day, we went to the Rochester Science and Museum Center. It was great but the exhibit was one we saw before. I had thought it would be a new exhibit. So I was a bit disappointed. After that we went to go to Chuck E Cheese with the kids. Now, I really like Chuck E Cheese. I know it's a kids' place but I like it mostly because whenever we have gone the kids have loved it. We always use a coupon so it doesn't cost us a ton of money. Besides I think their pizza is yummy. lol  It was mobbed though!!!! Busier then I had ever seen it. We could not find a seat anywhere and the kids would have been overwhelmed by the amount of chaos all those patrons created. So, we left. We came home. I think that day everyone was a bit disappointed in the events. Being disappointed all afternoon, and tired from the emotional ups and downs, I wanted to cry. But I didn't. We just went home.

On Friday we had an unexpected appointment and afterward needed to kill a couple of hours before the Music Jam (rather then travel 30 miles to home and then back 20 miles 2 1/2 hours back to church - what a waste of gas!) So we decided to try Chuck E Cheese again. This time it was peaceful and calm with only a few kids; as it was only mid afternoon. We had a wonderful time! I even played more games with the kids then I usually do.

So you see all around our plans changed, but it actually turned out beneficial in the long run. What started off as annoying changes ended up, after giving the situation to God, being very enjoyable after all.

So in life I have to expect changes as they will happen whether I like it or not. If I fight the changes that only makes me miserable. If I go with the flow God holds my hand and guides me. I am learning to expect, and be ok with, change.

What to write

I have so wanted to write for quite a while now but I either do not have the time or am too tired and end up going to bed. so today, before either of those happen I thought I would write for a bit.

I have had a few people tell me that I should blog about certain topics, including but not limited to; the problems I feel that are wrong with Christmas, (and any holiday for that matter), living with two aspies, the need for church, why worship is so important and more. I thought since I have the time today I would try to cover as much of these topics as I can.

First of all, Christmas is a big sore spot with me. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday itself. We actually do celebrate it like most people; with a tree, stockings and presents. However, the Santa thing irks me so much!

We have never told our kids that Santa Claus was real. As for the tooth fairy, the sandman, the Easter bunny, ghosts, goblins, mother nature, and all those other fictional characters, we have told our children they are not true and why the world likes to keep kids thinking they are. These characters are fictional, that means false!!! NOT TRUE! Not only are you lying to your children when you "play along" with imagining they are real but you are risking them not believing you when you say Christ is real. That is not a risk I will take.

(Exclaimer: This is only my opinion based on facts from the Holy Scriptures, specifically written by God Almighty himself. I am sorry if this offends but I will not say I'm sorry for saying the truth.)

I hate the commercialism that the holidays (ok, most holidays) brings out in us as humans. I'm not even going off of the REAL reason why we use the Christmas tree (to worship a "god"), decorate it (a Yuletide celebrations and celebration of the return of the sun), why stockings are hung by the chimney (St. Nicholas putting money in them) or why we exchange presents (to celebrate Saturnalia). **Now, I do not claim to know everything about the origins so if I am factually wrong, forgive me and feel free to correct me.** What I am bothered by most of all though is that the holiday is no longer looked at as a sacred holiday set aside to worship God and remember Jesus' birth here on Earth, but rather a way to suck money out of people. Now, we do celebrate Christmas with the tree, stockings and gifts, as I have said. If I am bugged so badly by the commercialism you would think I would not even partake in it. As a family we take time to remember the reason we are celebrating the holiday, the birth of Christ. We do things that specifically to remind the kids of that fact. On Christmas Eve we have a birthday party for Jesus and talk about how His birth has affected us and what it means to the world. Christmas morning starts out with prayer and breakfast. Then one of the kids gets to hand out each present to the person who bought it. Then we take turns passing each gift to the person it was bought for and waiting for them to open it before we go the next gift to be opened. We do not want to take away from our children nor ourselves the joy of celebrating Christmas but we insist that all the celebration revolve around Jesus. :) He is our rock, our fortress, and our Saviour.

Living with Aspies: WOW! What can I say? It is always an adventure. I love my husband and my oldest son so much but they sure can drive me crazy! lmbo!!! My little son, not so little anymore since he is now 13, has Moebius and anxieties but he is NO aspie that is for sure! lol Adam and Mike are so much alike it is really creepy at times. They both get obsessed with things. Right now Mike is working on yet another project. Adam is focused on Legos and making military crafts out of them. Adam has really gotten into reading Garfield each night and through out the day. At least he is actually reading so I am happy. Mike, he reads Scriptures and comics. lol not much else for enjoyment though.

living with Aspies keeps my grounded. It keeps me focused on the needs of my family and not my desires. You see, I am a social person. I could hang out with my friends, go out to places, parties, and other social places. Those types of places make Mike and Adam get flustered. I have gotten more sensitive to being over stimulated because I have had to be distances myself (along with the whole family) from it for so many years due to Mike and Adam's Asperger's (AS) and Daniel's shyness and anxieties. But it's not my nature to be anti-social. I love people, I love being around people, I love being a helpful person to anyone I come across. I love having people to my place to hang out or to have dinner with us. My kids friends all know that they are always welcome at our house for any reason. I love having the commotion around me and feeling like I am part of it. BUT I have gotten so used to not living that lifestyle that sometimes I get overwhelmed from it now. I hate that part of me! lol What I do love is that Mike and Adam's AS makes them lovable and unique. Yes, there are days when I want to kill one or both of them. They do not always know when to stop joking and that gets me upset. They don't always (ok rarely do they) know how to handle emotions, or to be comforting when I (or Daniel) gets upset. If it is us being upset at them they feel attacked and automatically go into self preservation mode. This makes them focus on their selves much more so, sometimes excluding any results of their rude or inappropriate behavior.

Although it does sound like am (or may be) leaning towards not liking them around me, nothing can be further from the truth. Sure we all have our own problems, AS or not. We all have "our crosses to bear" as the saying goes. Both Mike and Adam get frustrated with their lack of proper response to stimulation, lack of emotional control and being different then theirs.

Church, worship, gathering of the brethren - The funny thing about going to church each Sunday and Bible studies, worship jams, and other Church events you can feel the love that God is pouring out on our family. Some people can't even get to a church due to lack of transportation, driving to work, being around other like minded people.

Church is for learning the Word. yes I will give you that one. But it is so much more then that. God wants us to make a joyful noise unto Him. He wants to us to edify and uplift each other in his name. He wants our praise and adulation; not because he is a egotistical God but because hearing how His creation loves Him and wants to have a relationship with him is music to His ears! So, in your rising up and in your laying down, in your sleep filled eyes and when you are wide awake. Worship time is how we interact with the one true God. It's what makes God our closest friend. We interact with Him as if he was truly a person. worship is our way to spend time hanging out with God. Me, well, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Worship Christ is a wonderful feeling. :)

Scripture are our instruction book for our life. Babies do come with instruction book but most people have no idea what goes on around. the scenes that keep Petco up and running so well.If we take the time to actually listen and heed it's instructions I'm sure you will have a wonderful life.

Ok, so this is longer then I anticipated and I am now falling asleep at the computer. I had better get to sleep. I know that this post is long and I still didn't cover all that I wanted to know. I will try to add more things to it when I am more awake. sleep tight and sweet dreams everyone.

my stupid random thoughts

Ok, here are a few thoughts that are running circles in my mind.

1 - I love my pink hair!!!!!
2 - I wish this migraine would just go away.
3 - Bowling tomorrow!!!! woo hoo!!!
4 - Oh, I am so thankful Mark is helping us out! He is great!
5 - I am wondering what is so exciting about the zuu zuu pets? they are just weird.... lol
6 - I can't wait to learn more sign language! It's not only fun it's useful. When I lose my hearing (and I am already) I will already know how to communicate!
7 - I want my printer to print pictures up better
8 - wishing the TB book we have wouldn't take so long to boot up.
.
9 - disappointed in myself for slacking off with reading the bible everyday.
10 - love watching the mentalist, numbers, csi and big bang theory.
11 - What does God do up in Heaven all the time?
12 - What will Heaven be like? This thought brings joy and excitement to my heart!
13 - started two blog posts but haven't finished either one as I have no time to sit and work on them. Hopefully I will get both posted this weekend.
14. Praying for Amy. I do miss her and wish her well.
15 - loving my neighbors. Not only are they quiet, peaceful people, they are all very nice too!
16 - Why won't the migraine go away? I took medicine!!! UGH!!!
14 - loving my husband who is always there for me and takes care of me. He helps me out more then I could have ever wished for.
15 - hate taking medicines everyday but really love how they make me feel. I feel more like my old self now; playful, unique, loving, caring, energetic, and creative. 
16 - I wish I could turn all the lights off in the house so my head would feel better but I can't. Mike likes light on and he would not be happy if I turned them all off. lol
17 - Flavored water is awesome!!!!
18 - being used by god has got to be the best feeling in the universe!
19 - wondering why God loves me (and you) so much that He died to save our souls. Why would the Creator of the universe do that for a creation when he can just destroy them all and kmake a new creation with all new created beings? I am in awe of thta!
20 - thinking that most of you readers will probably laugh at most of these posts and the absurdity of my posting a post like this. hehehehe
21 - lastly - am thankful for all my friends on the internet. It is a wonderful feeling to know that when I get online there are people there who actually understand where I am coming from and actually like me for me. So if you are reading this stupid post, thank you for caring enough to take the time to read it!!!

Remember that Gd loves you so much that He gave His ONLY son 

so that He may die to save us and give us the opportunity to live with Him forever!

feeling blessed

Today was a pretty good day. Ok, I think it turned out better then I thought it would. to me, at the end of the day, I think it was pretty awesome. boy this wek went by so fast it seems. We are now another week older then most of us care to admit.
But why do we hate to admit our real ages? This culture puts a lot of emphasis how one looks, talks and behaves. If you do not conformt o this world (and their way ofdoing htings) you will be missing out on a lot og blessings. Age doesn't matter really. Think of this saying "The day you start growing up is the day you start dieing. So, be like the little children, go before god with  heart full on wonderful, love and repentiveness. :)

So do all that you can and do it for the Lord.

so I have been so crazily busy!

I wrote this on the 16th of January and then forgot to finish it. lol So here it is, better late then never, right?

Ok, so it has been quite a while.since I have blogged. I hate not being able to blog as much as I would like to. so many things here have gone on lately I'm surprised I still know which way is up! lmbo!!!

If it's not one thing it's another........
When it rains it pours.........
Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.........

These sayings seem to fit how I feel lately. But with God all things are working well.
So, what has been going on? Well, Adam has had one health issue after another. First his blood glucose numbers were not normal. Then he got a bad kidney infection with no warning symptoms, and after that he started becoming dizzy a lot. His knees are always going out on him and swelling up when they do. Now his stomach is bothering him a lot. (Now his back hurts too.)

Daniel is doing about the same. His stomach aches a lot but that has been happening for years. Otherwise, he is ok. Me? Well, besides being tired and the firbo pain I am ok I guess. Nothing new to report so that is good news. :) Mike? Well, Mike is rarely sick and rarely complains of things bothering him so I guess he is ok too.

When I stop to think of how life is and how our physical bodies cause disruptions in our day to day life; whether it be by pain, depression, anxiety, or other health issues, I am reminded of how fragile we are. Although these bodies were not originally designed to break down and deteriorate, sin has caused that to happen. So it goes to reason that there would be so many health issues plaguing humans. The way we eat and the way we take care of our bodies doesn't help matters either.

I am not a health food nut. I am not even really observant enough, most of the time, to watch my diet well. I eat when I get hungry and sometimes when I am bored. So I should not be surprised that I am overweight. I could easily stand to loose 30 lbs; even 50 wouldn't be unreasonable. My problem is that I lack willpower and control. No, that is wrong, I do not lack it, I chose not to use it. That is more accurate. Why would I choose not to use will power and self control if I know it is the best thing for me? Well, temptation is an easy trap. It is self gratifying and momentarily enjoyable.

It leads us sweetly by the hand into areas that are (so it seems) filled with glorious things that make us feel good about ourselves, at least for the moment. If you have ever indulged in a piece of wonderfully delicious cake or a bowl of yummy ice cream you knwo what I am saying. Just like the harlot that tempted the simple man that was not watchful sin tempts us. (See Proverbs chapter 7) We need to stay watchful and be mindful of the way our life is going.

I need to be watchful and mindful of my life; what I eat, when I eat, when (and if) I exercise, and so forth. By being spiritually mindful and watchful we take care of our heart and our relationship with Christ. Being physically watchful and mindful of the things we do we take care of the temple of God.

I guess I am writing this tonight more for me then for you. I need to take my own advice. I WILL eat better and I WILL exercise. I WILL be watchful and mindful so that my life - the one I am using as an ambassador for Christ may bring him glory. :o)

I pray you also chose to live this way too.

poetry in motion

I wanted to write a poem earlier this evening about poetry but I couldn't think of what to write, ironic isn't it? Today seems to be full of irony. First, I planned on having a quiet day with my boys, then all madness broke out when I ended up with 6 kids in my house and (enjoyable) chaos bloomed. This evening I wanted to sit and relax watching a movie with Mike and the movie turned out to be worse then we thought. We turned it off and watched tv instead, which was a bit disappointing, to me at least. I thought maybe I could go to bed early but here I am and the desire to go to bed has left.
You ever have one of those days where your plans get all squashed up and thrown in a wastepaper basket? Sometimes, when that happens the new plans are even better and you have a great time. Sometimes the new plans are worse and you wish you could just go to bed and start the day over. Today the new plans, for me at least, were fun and enjoyable, but that is not always the case.
Life is really poetry in motion. It flows one way and the other, with a mind of it's own, fleeting by with a care... It can be smooth sailing or rough riding, but it is all ways moving, like words on a page. Poetry tells a story. This story can be hard to decipher or easy to see. It can be short or long with deep insight or it can roll off the sleeve. No matter what the story is always there, never leaving your side. You write it each moment you take a breath.
Don't you want your story to be remembered as something wonderful? Don't you want it to be life changing for someone else? Don't you want it to impact others in a good way? I certainly do. With Christ that happens each day, if you let it. Without Christ, you might have a good impact but it could always be better. You might have an enjoyable life but are you really happy? Your life might be filled wiht glorious things that are envied by others, but do you feel fulfilled?
There is a place in your life that can only be written by god almighty. He writes the poetry that last forever. The poetry we may write when we live our lives is only short lived. Few may remember it when we die and some may not even remember it next week. With Jesus in the center of you life that poetry takes on a whole new meaning. To bring glory to God in the hgihest is the best poetry that can ever be written. It is the greatest joy that can ever be achieved.
So if you are not saved, I pray you get saved and then you'll be able to understand what I am saying. If you are saved, let od write His poetry in your life.
Here is a bit of irony, I started this blog today not knowing what to write, I put the title in thinking it was stupid but I let God choose my words for me and see what happened? I was able to bring Glory to God in Heaven, all without actually intending to. :) Ironic, huh? that is what happens whne you let Him write the poetry of your life.
Have a great night everyone and thank you for reading. :o)

I want to blog

Ok, so it has been forever since I blogged. That has not been due to my not wanting to though. Between all the business my life brings and the fact that it all makes me so tired I haven't found the time to blog.
So what has been going on in my life? Well, nothing really exciting I can tell you that. I babysit t 5 year old kids, one boy one girl. They are a lot of fun but really tiring at times, but aren't all kids? I homeschool both of my boys but lately I have been doing more of an unschooling approach. I don't like ti very much but I have yet to find motivation to get back to a more structured approach. If I like it or not I have to start cracking down and get to our traditional lessons. lol Oh, and we have been really busy going to doctor's appointments for Adam.
Talking about Adam I will ask you all for prayer. Adam is not 15 and has grown considerablly over the last few years. He is about 180 lbs and almost 5'10". Recently he has had some very concerning health problems. The issue though is that the doctor can't figure out what it causing these symptoms. Ok so you're probably thinking what symptoms? He got a very bad kidney infection a couple of months back. There was no warning signs he just woke up one morning with a lot of back pain on one side. Since then he has acquired other symptoms like constant dizziness, nausea, swelling and spreading pain. So Adam has to go see a couple of specialists to find out what his body is going thru.
So please pray for Adam and for the doctor to have wisdom as to what ails Adam.
I hope to write another blog soon. I will try to at least.
Thank you for being patiently waiting for me to get back to blogging. Hopefully I will be able to find more time to do it.

Have a great night!

wear purple on Jan 24th!!! please!

A little more information about Moebius Syndrome!

http://www.manyfacesofmoebiussyndrome.com/home

Dear Friends
On the 24th of January 2011 , the first ever Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day will take place and will be celebrated worldwide by the various Moebius Syndrome communities and organizations.
January 24th is a significant date in the history of Moebius Syndrome as it is the birth date of Professor Paul Julius Mobius, the neurologist who first diagnosed the disorder in 1888, and who was born on January 24th, 1853.

The concept of the Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day was conceived by Donnie Downs, a board member of The Many Faces Of Moebius Syndrome website, whose son Caleb was born with the syndrome.

During the course of 2010 a cause page was started at www.causes.com/causes/453553 in support of a Moebius Syndrome Awareness day – to date it has attracted 4343 members, all in support of Moebius Syndrome awareness.

The first ever Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day in 2011 will be supported by all three of the Moebius Syndrome organizations;

The Moebius Syndrome Foundation  www.moebiussyndrome.com

The Many Faces Of Moebius Syndrome www.manyfacesofmoebiussyndrome.com

The Moebius Syndrome Research Trust www.moebiusresearchtrust.org

Those of us who have Moebius Syndrome or who are a parent, relative or friend of someone who has Moebius, are all too aware of the lack of resources, understanding and knowledge of it – even sometimes from seasoned medical practitioners and other learned professionals.

The aim of a Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day is, of course, to create an awareness of the syndrome; to break the social barriers which can be created by it; to foster a greater understanding of it by the medical community and public at large; and to literally bring the syndrome and the perceptions of it, and those who have it, out of the dark ages, where it has been languishing for far too long.

The true experts on Moebius Syndrome are you - the parents, siblings and individuals who live with it every day of your lives. Please join us in celebrating the first ever Moebius Syndrome Day on January 24th. Together we can improve the lives of those affected by it, and those who have yet to be affected by it.

                       By Gavin Fouche

Mission Statement
To create a better tomorrow for ourselves and our children through education and public awareness!
What is Moebius Syndrome?
Moebius Syndrome is an extremely rare congenital neurological disorder which is characterized by facial paralysis and the inability to move the eyes from side to side. Most people with Moebius syndrome are born with facial paralysis, which means they cannot close their eyes or form facial expressions. Limb and chest wall abnormalities sometimes occur with the syndrome. Most people with Moebius syndrome have normal intelligence, and others should take care not to confuse their lack of facial expression with dullness or unfriendliness. It is named for Paul Jullius Mobius, a neurologist who first described the syndrome in 1888.

A little more information about Moebius Syndrome!

CLINICAL FEATURES
Moebius syndrome results from the underdevelopment of the sixth and seventh cranial nerve.  The sixth cranial nerve controls lateral eye movement, and the seventh cranial nerve controls facial expression. People with Möbius syndrome are born with facial paralysis and the inability to move their eyes laterally. Often, the upper lip is retracted due to muscle shrinkage.  Occasionally, the cranial nerves five and eight are affected. If cranial eight is affected, the person experiences hearing loss.
It is estimated that there are, on average, 2 to 20 cases of Moebius syndrome per million births. Although its rarity often leads to late diagnosis, infants with this disorder can be identified at birth by a "mask-like" lack of expression that is detectable during crying or laughing and by an inability to suck while nursing because of paresis (palsy) of the sixth and seventh cranial nerves. Also, because a person with Moebius syndrome cannot follow objects by moving their eyes from side to side, they turn their head instead.
Other symptoms that sometimes occur with Moebius syndrome are:

• Limb abnormalities—clubbed feet, missing fingers or toes
• Chest-wall abnormalities 
• Crossed eyes
• Difficulty in breathing and/or in swallowing
• Corneal erosion resulting from difficulty in blinking

Children with Moebius syndrome may have delayed speech because of paralysis of the lips. However, with speech therapy, most people with Moebius syndrome can develop understandable speech. Möbius syndrome has been linked to increased occurrence of the symptoms of autism.  However, some children with Moebius syndrome are mistakenly labeled as mentally retarded or autistic because of their expressionless faces, and frequent drooling.

 Treatment
There is no single course of medical treatment or cure for Moebius syndrome. Treatment is supportive and in accordance with symptoms. If they have difficulty nursing, infants may require feeding tubes or special bottles to maintain sufficient nutrition. Physical, occupational, and speech therapy can improve motor skills and coordination and can lead to better control of speaking and eating abilities. Often, frequent lubrication with eye drops is sufficient to combat dry eye that results from impaired blinking. Surgery can correct crossed eyes, protect the cornea, and improve limb and jaw deformities. Sometimes called "smile surgery" by the media, muscle transfers grafted from the thigh to the corners of the mouth can be performed to provide the ability to smile. Although "smile surgery" may provide the ability to smile, the procedure is complex and can take twelve hours for each side of the face. Also, the surgery cannot be considered a "cure" for Moebius syndrome, because it does not improve the ability to form other facial expressions.

Living with Moebius Syndrome
Many people with Moebius syndrome lead full lives and experience personal and professional success. Facial expression is important in social interaction, and other people may have difficulty recognizing the emotions of people with Moebius. A person with Moebius syndrome who cannot smile may appear unfriendly or disinterested in a conversation. However, friends and family who are familiar with the person with Moebius syndrome learn to recognize other signals of emotion such as body language, and they sometimes report forgetting that the person has facial paralysis altogether. People with Moebius syndrome can use alternative methods to communicate emotion—such as body language, posture, and vocal tone.

From what I have read, and please do not quote me on this - there are only less then 1000 people affected by Moebius in the United States. In Europe there are only 300 cases a year. this is a very rare disorder and could use the publicity. We all know that publicity equals money for research in the long run. So please, please, please be supportive of raising awareness of Moebius syndrome by wearing purple on Jan 24th.

thank you!

a bit about nothing......

Ok so I want to blog but I really have nothing to say. Today was a good day. All the kids were well behaved, no problems  to speak of and I even got my chores one even though I was running around in the car today. So, I feel like I was able to get a good amount of things accomplished. When all is said and done, the day went well and I am left sooooooooooo tired. It's funny though because I wasn't tired until I had time to actually sit ad relax then it hit me. I hate when that happens.
I had hoped to blog more often but with my schedule recently  have no time. When things calm down, hopefully soon, I will blog more. Until then have a great time doing what ever you are doing.... until then, gn

becareful little minds what you think..........

Today has a been a rough day for me. I have had a lot of emotional downs. I wish I could say I do not know why but in fact I do know. I just wish I did not though. One, I have not been taken my medicines (thyroid, depression, estrogen, etc...) for a few days as the holidays have kept me distracted. Two, I am too emotionally led astray, it is my weakness. I wish for people, all people, to like me. If for some reason they do not, or seem as if they do not, it concerns me a great deal. It's not that I want to be the most popular girl around but I do not want to be unpopular either. Sometimes it feels as if people not liking me effects how I like myself. Now that may not make sense to some people but to me it makes perfect sense. 

There has been a lot of things in my past that can be seen as proof that people whom you would think would love me in reality love themselves more. I know that this isn't my fault and I know that these people truly did love me but had no idea how to show it to me. Through circumstances beyond my control it seems people have left my life forever without really seeming to care that I was hurt. I know I am not supposed to dwell on the past and honestly I do not. I do know though, that my past has helped to shape me into the being that I am today. I also know that God can reshape me into anything He wishes me to be, IF I let Him. It's that last part that always catches me; the IF. It's not like I do not want Him to shape me to fit His will, but I do not want to give up trying to handle it myself either. It's as if by letting go and giving to God I will be admitting failure. No one I know really wants to admit failure. To be honest with God though, we must. 

I started writing this post tonight not really knowing where this would go, how I would express my thoughts, what I would say or not say and still not let it become a pity party of 1, spread through out cyberspace. So I started praying. God give me the words to speak. Give me the guidance to clear my mind of all this self-pity. Through writing this I can see that the self pity is entirely my fault. I do not need people to like me, nor do I need to please others. Through pleasing God and letting His light shine I will not feel lonely. I will not feel sad. It is a hard thing to do though, so I truly do covet your prayers.

Right before starting this post I read a post from a facebook friend. The lady that posted it is always posting wonderfully encouraging things to help people remember to focus on Christ. This is what she posted. 

WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A PLACE OF FEAR AND CONFUSION, GOD'S WORDS ARE STRONG: DON'T BE AFRAID! STAND FIRM! BE STILL!! STOP CRYING OUT!! MOVE ON!! TO BELIEVE Ex14:13-15

This hit me particularly hard because I have been on and off crying all day today. So, even in my self-pity God was calling out to me for me to find comfort in His arms. And that I do!  So despite the ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster that is called my life God can even out the tracks and make the ride smooth. 

There are three things I need to do more on a daily basis to ensure that I keep my eyes focused, and my heart also, on Him. 

1. READ THE  WORD!!!! 

2. Pray without ceasing.

3. Give to God and not let my self worth be determined by others but by Him. 

oh and 4. take my medicines daily to help take care of the body God gave me.

Writing this blog is truly therapeutic for me. I write to clear my mind, to get my thoughts out in the open and to refocus them on Christ. This blog lets me do that in a way that I never would have imagined. Although I would love your comments and your insight, that is not the reason I write this blog, and it certainly is not needed for me to like myself. Without God I am nothing but WITH God I am everything! And so are you!!!

change your expectations

I do not plan on writing this for too long this evening because I am tired......... It's been a long but really enjoyable day. Christmas is my favorite time of year. My birthday and Christmas are the only "holidays" I truly love.
Today I have had a few thoughts scampering around my brain. One of them has been to lower your expectations. you see Christmas can be wonderful or frustrating and sad. IT depends on your perspective and your expectations of the day. What will you get? How will dinner turn out? Will everyone get along? Will everyone like the gifts I bought them? There are so many things that can not only distract us from the true meaning of the celebration but also make us feel down in the dumps. This has happened to me more times then I care to admit. A number of years ago I used to have my expectations for presents much higher then I do now. You see women tend to think differently then men regarding many things, purchasing gifts is one of them. although my husband's intent was to buy things for me that I would love and that would show his love for me, he didn't always succeed. Now, I love my husband more then life itself (but not as much as God) but he doesn't always know what I like despite our 16 years of marriage. So when gift opening time came I always got disappointed, disappointing him in the process. Now, I focus on his intent instead of the gift. This year my husband bought me things that I would use, things that are practical and things I enjoy, such as bubble bath and a bath pillow. Now, although the gifts I received are not extravagant, nor are then fancy, they are things I love. Thought was put into the gifts. To me, now tha tI take thet ime to understand the love that went into picking out the gifts, I am no longer disappointed. I am rather thrilled that my husband loves me so much he thougth to vget that item, even if it is not one I would usually pick out.

So, don't set your expectations too high at Christmas time. No matter if you get exactly what you wished for or you received something stupid and lame, you are loved and that is always more important.

Thinking of how much you are loved, reminds me of how much we are all loved; by God. You see God gave up a part of Himself, His very own child, His only child. He did that because He wanted to spend eternity with His creations, us. He wanted to spend time with those He loves. His son, Jesus Christ, willingly gave up his Godhood for a time to become human, knowing full well that he would be ridiculed, tormented, attacked, sold for silver, beaten beyond recognition then hung on a cross to die. He was buried in a sealed tomb in the cold hard ground. But he did this all because He knew that it was the only way to get to spend eternity with those he loves. He rose from the grave to prove his love to us. What a love that is!!!!

So, I have two things to take for all this; do not set your expectations for gifts so high that you get disappointed and expect more from Christ as He loves you more then you know!

I pray you all had a wonderful Christmas, I know we did!

enjoying things to do

Have you ever been so busy that you feel as though you have to think to even breathe? Have you ever not had any time for yourself to relax? It's days like that that make me go crazy. It seems that I have a lot more of those days recently. By the end of the night I am very tired. The next morning I wake at 6, just in time to start babysitting.....

Well, tomorrow I do not have to babysit at 6 am so I am staying up late and relaxing. I made Christmas cards and watched a movie. It's times like this that I miss.

So anyhow, I was able to make 6 handmade Christmas cards tonight. I felt great afterwards! How refreshing it is to sit and relax doing something I really enjoy!

I am off to bed now but before I go I encourage yoiu to take the time to sit and do something just for you that you find really enjoyable. :) It is a refreshing few moments just for you. :)

God Bless

resting in His peace

Today was one of those days. You know the type; everything seems to try your patience. Everything seems to go belly up or fall flat on it's face. Well, today was that kind of day............

The days started out wonderfully. We all got up on the "right side of the bed' as the saying goes. :) And that is easy for me because I sleep on the right side of my bed! lol  Adam got up with us this morning because he wanted to go to prayer with us. Daniel wanted to stay home. Adam really just wanted to help us move some things around at church but to do so he had to attend prayer first as moving things followed the weekly prayer meeting. :D I guess that is one way to get him to come with us! lol

So, after prayer and rearranging rooms at church we had to go grocery shopping. If you have an aspie in your house you know that can be a challenge at times, especially around this busiest time of the year. Well, I have two aspies! lol The first store we went to was Wal-Mart Super-center. That went ok as I did most of the shopping without anyone else helping me. Mike helped a bit, and for that I was thankful. Adam went off on his own and left us to do what we had to get done. Then it was off to Aldi's for more grocery shopping. This can be challenging because the store isn't that spacious and I had a big list... One aspie was really wise and stayed in the car. He let me shop without him. :) Adam chose to listen to his book rather then shop, so Mike and I went in shopping by ourselves. We had a lot of things to get. Mike was really trying to be very helpful but he was actually stressing me out. I felt rushed and not able to think of what I needed to purchase. So far today, I felt drained.... After shopping we got into the car and Mike and I had a fight. I felt sooo bad afterward because he was only trying to help me.... He was really trying to be sweet but in my perfectionistic attitude and my need to control I didn't see it. So anyhow, on the way home Mike, being the sweet wonderful husband he is, stopped by another Aldi's that we were passing so that I could get the things the other Aldis's either didn't have or I had forgotten to get. So, I went in and got those few items. On the way home we went. All the groceries were taken upstairs and put away with out a problem.

Adam and I went to the library and the dollar store. We had a nice quiet mother and son time.


Then a few hours later Adam was getting hungry. He usually wants to eat in the living room, watching a video. It's not something I am particularly fond of, and really should not allow it as often as I do. Anyhow, Adam was getting a bowl of cereal ready to eat. Unlike any normal person he doesn't pour the cereal and then the milk and then goes to sit down. He brings all the supplies into the living room with him, then sets up the tv tray then pours the cereal and milk, then sits to eat. I have no idea why he does it this way but he always has. Well, I'm not sure why he thought that putting the milk on the couch while he set up the tv tray was a smart thing to do but that is what he did. And you guessed it! The whole full gallon tipped over and spilled all over our wall to wall carpeting, covering a large area. Of course, with the Christmas tree the furniture is a bit more cramped together then usual and the older couch got some milk on it too. I was not a happy person! Adam felt really bad but I still got pretty mad at him. Not for the spilled milk, but because he doesn't think all the way through sometimes, most times and as a result about a quart of milk went everywhere, or so it seemed. That was problem number two. Shopping was rushed and I felt stressed then I almost cried over spilled milk, literally. 

As I was cleaning up from dinner I started to see how gracious God was through out my rough day. He protected me while shopping as it was very busy and I was very tired and stressed. He gave me a wonderful husband who only wanted to help me. He gave us enough money to provide for all the groceries we wanted to get and then some. He protected Daniel while he was home alone for hours by himself. He gave Adam peace and a repentant heart. He gave me time to rest while everyone watched a video. He guided me to bit my tongue, although I didn't listen to Him as much as I should have.

So you see, even during the rough parts of life God is gracious, loving and kind. He is always there for us no matter what we do, no matter where we go. We can never be outside his grasp or his protection. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is closer then a brother, close then a father, closer then your mother.... We cannot fathom how much He loves us, especially when we screw up and fall flat on our faces. Sometimes in order for us to realize how much we are not listening to Him we need to be brought to our knees. I just wish I didn't make the happen as often as I do, but I am thankful in more ways then I can count, that God is there for me no matter what. :)

Thanksgiving blessings........

I have so many thoughts running in my hear that I could blog about but I'm not sure what one I want to start with. Since tomorrow is thanksgiving (and my birthday) I feel very blessed right now. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time but too many people like to act as if it is all about the food and friends and family, not about God. You know it really is about God though for without Him you wouldn't have the blessings that you have now. With out Him you wouldn't have anything for it is out of  His love and grace that we are blessed. :)

As you eat your turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce remember where your blessings really come from and thank Him most of all.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!

today is a new day

So you wake up in the morning and think ok, so today is a new day. What will this day hold for me. I pray it holds wonderful blessings.

Some days that is not an easy thing to wake up and say. Some days I find myself struggling just to be happy. Now those days are not the usual anymore, thanks be to God but they still do happen.During my worst days it was hard to just get the household chores done, let alone anything extra, least of anything that brought happiness to me, or anyone else around me. It was during those times that God helped hold me together. He held me high and strong. In His arms was I comforted.

Those days are pretty much past now but I still have some bad days. When I do have the bad days I take time to recount my blessings.I remind myself how much God has blessed me and how much He loves me.

He does love me so much. He loves me so much that even if I was the only created being in the whole universe He still would have sent His son to die for me so that I can spend eternity in Heaven with Him. Wow.... I am in awe just thinking that....

This past Sunday church service was a bit unusual for us. Our pastor did a small teaching and then opened the service u to anyone who wanted to share their testimony or praise. It was wonderful. to hear others praise His name and thank Him for their blessings was at times a tearful thing to experience. Tears of joy and thanksgiving............. So many people were thankful for their families and for the church congregation, which is to be expected and is wonderful to hear. But one gentleman said something that will stay with me for quite some time.

"He saw me when he said let there be light.
He saw us, He saw me, when He went to make man in His image.
He saw us, He saw me, when he told Abraham to go make a sacrifice."
...........       ...............         ..............
but He did it anyway.......
...........       ...............         ..............

"One day we will get to see Him face to face.

One day we will get to throw the crowns at His feet...... "

To think that God knew how the world would turn out, He knew that people would not only disrespect Him and disobey him but that people, human beings, His creations, would belittle Him, hate Him, try to remove Him from all aspects of life and He still made each one of us so that one day we can spend time with Him in eternity.

Wow! No matter what anyone says to me, or to you, nothing will change that.  To think back and remember all the horrible things man has done, I have done, and all the selfishness humans, I have in them, in me. To think all the times we have turned our back s on Hm and He still loves us.

God loves each one of us more then we could ever imagine, more then our puny human minds can comprehend. God loves us despite our horribleness, despite our flesh and our constant disobedience to Him.


now I do not know about you, but I am in awe.........


The sad thing about this is that most people only think this way on Thanksgiving, maybe Easter and Christmas. So out of 365 days in each year God has been put on the pedestal only 3 days? That is so not right!!!!

So I challenge you to wake up each day thinking today is the day that God has made. Today is the day I live for Him. Go and make a difference in your life, in others' lives, just by living for Christ. Go spread His Word by living for Him. They will know you by your fruit so make sure it's good righteous fruit. :)

I challenge you to honestly wholeheartedly love for Him. :)

Voting..... why I think women shoudl not do it.

Ok, so the voting is over for now. In my last post I stated I didn't vote even though I agree that it is vitally important. If I think it is so important why do I not vote then? Does Mike vote? Yes, my husband does, each and every election he can. I do not. At all? ... why?

Well, that is the question I have been asked time and time again. I have also asked myself that very question over and over again. Each time I state my reason people think I am strange. I am strange but not because I do not vote. lol

Ok think about it. This country, the United States of America, was founded on the principle that men governed the house and the government, made the money to provide all the needs for the family and were the spiritual leaders in their homes. Women stayed home and took care of the kids, the husband, the house and the cooking. This country was founded on religious freedom. Yes, there were many people from other religions and other regions that came to the US to seek freedom but I am thinking mainly of the Pilgrims that came over to be free from the religious rule in England. Back then life seemed good, hard but good.  Men knew their role and women knew their role. These roles were designed by God. Women grew up knowing they would be mothers and housekeepers. Men grew up knowing they would work to provided for their families. There was not the competition for each others' job as each knew the importance of their own job. They knew that by doing their own jobs they were an important and vital part of the family and society.

Then came this notion of "woman's equality", as if being a mom or a housekeeper was of no importance. Without moms where would we all be? Without support, comfort, nurturing, prepared food, washed laundry, cleaned houses, where would we all be? Without moms I know I would be a big fat mess, literally.... I mean it. I wouldn't know how to eat properly, clean and maintain my household, raise my children to respect adults, and to work hard in everything they do. Without mom, I would probably overeat because it would seem ok. I would probably live in a messy house because I wouldn't know the importance of cleaning and the benefits of living in a clean house. Without moms I would be lost.

So anyhow, back to the voting issue. As you can see mom's place in the house is very vitally important. As is dad's role. He provides the income to buy the necessities we need and want on a daily basis. He protects us from harm and helps us stand up proud and respectable. He teaches us scriptures (hopefully) and to love but fear the Lord. He teaches us manners and respect of authority by being humbled in your job and doing your job for God not man.

As I said men had their place and women had their place and life was good. Then came 'woman's rights". Women, as God cursed them to be, wanted to be equal if not better then men. Let them work in the man's world of employment. Treat them the same even though they are proven to be a physically weaker and more emotionally unstable (or prone to be at times). Treat them to stand on their own two feet without the support of men. Let them work hard, shout their opinions loudly and vote in politics. Raising a family became less important during this time and since.....Woman have put their own desires and emotions above the needs God has ordained them to fulfill.

Where has this gotten us in the many years since woman's equality has been gained? Women still are not equal, in any true sense of the word, to men. Women typically get paid less for the same job a man does. Women are typically over looked and refused employment if a man is available and willing to do the job. (Yes, it is illegal but I know it still happens) Women need maternity time off, which is a downfall on their part. More women take sick days then men when a child is home sick from school. Women have developed many more health problems, related to physical and emotional stress, over the years that women in decades past did not have. Women have suffered in so many ways due to this woman's right to equality was "won". Men still see women as weaker and not as capable to complete the job needing to get done. Men still drool and pant over women. (Don't tell me you don't cause I happen to know you do! Even if it is in your mind.) Men still see women as sex tools and "property". Men still try to control women whether you believe it or not.

So, again, we are back to why I do not vote a I have yet to explain that. lol

As you can see I do not like the fact that women have put their foot down and demanded the same equality as men. I feel women, in general, should NOT vote. But this is my opinion and I have yet to meet a person who thinks this also and that is ok with me. I feel women should mind their God given place and stay out of man's affairs, including government issues.. I think women should stay home and raise their kids themselves rather then shoving them off to day care. I feel women should treat their husbands with more respect and make the home a stress free environment for their spouse to come home to. I think women should not do things that distract them from their God given role as caretakers.

I think by voting women are still trying to get the upper hand. Women are still trying to show the world that they are equal to men. But we are not really. Yes I did just say that. Women as just as important but not equal. How can they be just as important but not equal? Well, let's see, god has joined man and woman in holy matrimony but the man is the head of the household just as Christ is the head of the church. With out woman, man would be lost still out there trying to seek some way to satisfy his longing and desires. With out men women would be out their looking for someone to fulfill their need to be loved. Men and women are made (literally and metaphorically) for each other in every sense of the way. They complete each other but have two different roles in the household and in society.

I think the country really needs to get it's knees to the ground and spend some time in repentance and humility before God. I think one step in the right direction would be for women to focus on their families and not on themselves or their society. If you are not married, or have no kids (and cannot have them) then maybe, just maybe I could see a woman voting, but to me it is not necessary or prudent.

If men would stand up and take their role seriously, and women would let them do so, then thins country wouldn't be in the problems it is in now.

I know lots of people will look  at this blog and think I am nuts, and maybe I am. I am standing strong on the Word of God and taking my role as a wife, mother, nurse, maid and teacher very seriously. I encourage my husband to take his role as the spiritual and financial provider for our family just as, or more so, serious as He will be accountable for his family before God when the day comes.

I know there are many unmarried single moms out there. I also know that some wives (and mothers) have lost their spouse in a death or divorce. They have to work to provide for their family. But in most cases this needn't be so. If the men would stand up and do as God asked them to then women wouldn't be "forced" to work to provide for their family.

Ok, I am off my soap box now. Thank you for letting me explain my thoughts.

why I hate halloween...

Ok, so there is no big news when I saw that I hardly ever HATE anything...... but here I am putting it out there for the world to see, I HATE HALLOWEEN!!!! But why? It can be very innocent and many wonderful people celebrate it, right? Well, I guess that is one way you could put it. It's not what I would agree to though.

So, why do I abhor this particular holiday so much? Could it be it's pagan origins? Could it be that it is against my "religion"? Could it be that I am against kids having fun? Maybe I didn't celebrate it as a kid. But wait! I did. My parents let me and my siblings go trick or treating every year. They even encouraged us to go when we thought we were too old to go. I dressed up for school and loved coming up with costume ideas. So, if I celebrated it when I was young why do I hate it now that I am grown? Don't I want my kids to have innocent fun? I mean I could only allow them to dress up as innocent things such as angels, cowboys and puppies but instead I take away all that enjoyment. WHY?


Well, it could be traced back to it's pagan origins, but although they are not good that is not the true reason for my hate. One could say that it's just a dark holiday and my religion is against it. They would be right but again that is not my reason either. Remember I grew up Christian and still celebrated the holiday.


Ok, enough beating around the bush, here it is in a simple explanation. It is evil. It is dark. It is satanic. It is gruesome and just plain awful. The costumes and decorations have all become too graphic and encourages ghost and goblins, witches, scary movies, and making little ones scared. Yes there are some "innocent" families that do participate in the holiday with the good intentions of letting their kids have fun. I have a huge problem with this. Would you let your kids use swords to play fight each other? No, why not? It could hurt them right? Would you let them run across the street without looking? No, why? It could hurt them, right? Well, the same goes true for halloween. It could hurt them.


No I am not talking about them actually getting hurt, kidnapped or receiving tainted candy. I am talking about their spiritual health, not their physical health. Although there are many reasons that halloween could physically hurt your child, that is not very common anymore. Law enforcement has taken great steps to help ensure your child's safety, from x-raying candy to having kids trick or treat in malls instead of outdoors. They even go around and check on sex offenders to make sure they are home that night and that they do not entice children to knock on their doors. These are all wonderful steps to take, however, they are not enough.


What needs to be done is the responsibility of the parents, and the parents alone. Are you raising your child, no matter his/her age, in the way of the Lord? Are you raising them to love and fear God Almighty? Are you teaching them to avoid sin and repent when you fall into temptation? If you are then that is wonderful, but it is not enough. Not by far. As a parent we need to guide them not to easily be led into temptation. We need to show them how to avoid temptation. We need to avoid things that are not edifying or uplifting in the Lord.


So, is halloween edifying? no! not in the least in any sense of the imagination. Yes, it did start out with pagan gods and it did start out with satanic rituals but now it has become an easy way for kids to gather candy and companies to make money. What is so wrong with that? There isn't anything evil in that is there? Well, not on the surface but look around you on halloween night. What do you see? Ghosts, goblins, scream characters, gory & scary movies, haunted houses, witches, more paranormal shows and so on. Are these edifying? no! not in the least. What if your child is dressing up as an angel is that ok? no, and here is why. Would you justify your child going to a party that the parents weren't present at? Why not? Would you allow your child to go to a concert that you know drugs will be used at? No, why? Because you do not want your child have anything to do with that. You do not want them to be tempted and you do not want them to be guilty by association, right? EXACTLY!!! That is my point. Why would you allow your child, or yourself, to participate in a holiday that you know has evil origins? Even if those origins aren't very visible you know that they are there. You know in your heart that halloween, being the high holy day of the satanic cult, is a evil day. It is the day that the most sacrifices are made on. People protect their animals most on that night because of the threat of sacrifices. So tht is the reson we decide not to participate in the holiday. but not the reason I hate it so much.


Ok, everyone knows I love love love (did I say love? chocolate and you would think I would be in my glory having a night that seems to worship the love of candy, specifically chocolate, right? Well, no I do not. Even though I love chocolate so much, my love for Christ is bigger then my love for chocolate. On halloween companies and people have profited off of the commercialism that the evil holiday has produced. Companies know that people will buy candy, decorations, costumes, and many other things, all in the name of having fun wiht the kids. (What is so fun about scary things anyway?) I hate that the U of A and many other countries around the world love to commercialize, and therefore take the original meaning from, practically everything. I hate that! we have become such a commercialized, gimme, I want and I "need" type of society. What we really need is to seek Him, Christ. For only He can fill that void we are so desperately trying to fill with items and activities.


I hate the origins of the holiday. I hate the darkness the holiday exudes, I hate the commercialism it produces and I hate the love affair America seems to have with it all. Most of all I hate how the holiday tricks good christian folks into celebrating the holiday on terms claiming "it's not so bad...."

So, that is my soap box for now. I'm not saying I'm off my soap box for today as I might right why I hate women voting later today. That is a whole other post.....

the internet is not secure - people will find out...

Ok, so the other day I was frustrated. My husband made me cry. He didn't mean to but it happened. He felt bad that he made me cry. Forgiveness is truly a gift from God because I know in my heart I am not one who wishes to forgive if my feelings are still hurt. Anyhow, with in the hour we were both doing well. The argument was over and forgiven. But I wanted to talk to someone about my hurt feelings. I wanted to be self-centered for a few minutes. In my mind it was "all about me". I called me best friend. We talked for a few and then I felt better. But what if I came online and used my blog to vent? Would that be ok? NO!!!!

But why? Why would using my blog to blow off some steam not be a good idea? Ok, so it may not be a good idea but what makes it not an ok idea either? First, do I really want everyone reading about my marital "problems"? Nope, I don't. I don't want others to think bad of my husband. I don't want people to judge the relationship I have with him.

If you go with what your mom probably taught you, "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all"  then it certainly wouldn't be ok for you to even call your best friend as I did. I know she doesn't need to hear my bad thoughts of Mike. I also know that if those feelings are kept bottled inside of me they do nothing but get bigger. So letting them out helps keep the problem from getting worse. Does that fact make it ok to blab about my bad feelings? No, not really.... So what's a girl to do?

If you are like me then you are a raging mess of a roller coaster of hormones and feelings. Women's feelings can go up and down, be hot or cold, many times during the day. Sometimes the only way, its seems, to difuse these feelings is to let them out.

But, think about it. What if the tables were turned? What if your spouse was the one with the raging hormones? What if your spouse was the one who blabbed and vented about you to his friends? How would you feel? I bet you would feel the same way I know I would feel. I would feel hurt and unloved. I would feel betrayed. I would be angry at my husband for spreading our business (in a probably not so nice way) to others that have no business being involved. So, if that is how I would feel then what am I making my husband feel like? You might say "well he doesn't know I say those things so I'm not making him feel bad". Well, just as I mentioned in the title today, people will find out. The Scriptures say your sin will find you out.

Is blabbing and venting sin? Well, yeah I guess it is. Of course I do not want to admit that because then it means that I have sinned in that area more then once, more then twice, truthfully it's been a lot. How I feel about it, how knowing it is sin makes me feel really doesn't change the fact that it is sin.

So how can we, as women who are designed with feelings that get easily hurt, vent and get those horrible feelings off our chest without destryoing the relationship we are in? I can't tell you exactly because I have never figured it out. I can say that giving it to God helps a lot. Giving it to God is probably the only thing we can do. I know it's the only thing we should do.

Being angry, hurt and frustrated are actually actions, not feelings. Think about it. When you are angry, what do you do? You usually act out in one way or another, be it venting, yelling or stomping around. If you are hurt you usually mope around, cry or complain. If you are frustrated, what do you do? If you are like me I get irritated and upset. I complain and demand things calm down so I can concentrate. All these are actions... they are things we do. But, you say, anger, hurt and frustration are feelings but the things we do when I feel them are the actions, right? NOT SO!

No matter what you feel, (yes I am included myself in this whole discussion) is exhibited in your behavior. You chose to act on those "feelings" When you love someone you are sweet and caring to them. When you hate someone you are cold shouldered to them. Your "feelings' are shown in your actions. But can you change your "feelings" by changing your actions? YOU BETCHA!!!

Giving our "feelings" over to God helps us not only desire to change our behavior but we actually can change it. So I challenge you, and myself, the next time you are hurt, angry or frustrated (or any other "feeling" that can lead to bad behavior) give your thoughts, feelings and actions over to God. Only He can help you change those feelings and actions into something positive.

Ok, I wrote this today is response to a post I put on my facebook page this morning. "If you have something not so nice to say or if you want to vent about people on facebook just remember that everyone sees, or hears this at one time or another. So if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. :)"

When I put that post on facebook I was actually thinking of when Mike and I got into a bit of a argument the other night.  Now, we do not argue much and when we do it is usually because of me. I am being honest about it. I am a selfish person who wants her own feelings attended to and who wants her own way. My feelings are hurt easily. Trying to improve myself I am giving things to God more often. I have seen a bit of an improvement. However, the other night when Mike and I argue I called my best friends and vent about Mike. I was upset and called him some not so nice names, (not swear words mind you). I shouldn't have though. I should have called him names I shouldn't have called m best friend to complain as it's not her business.

I am also writing this in response to another comment someone told me recently. No matter what the privacy settings on your facebook account are things can be seen by others you may not want to have see them. On the internet things are never really private. Things can also get back to someone who you would rather not have known those things.

Today, when writing this post I originally wanted to complain about someone I know. I do not want that person to know I was complaining about them so I was thinking how do I say this or that without that person being offended? Then it hit me! I shouldn't say anything if I have to think that question. My being upset at that person is my business, not yours. It is something I should take up with that person, not you. It really is an action. If I am really upset about it I need to give it to God and to change my thoughts. I shouldn't let my thoughts dictate my feelings or vise versa. Then I thought well, it really isn't that big of a deal to lose the friendship over and I do not want to bring it up to this person so I think I will just not talk about it. But remember what I said about feelings that are not dealt with? They fester? If it is not important enough to bring up to this person and it's not big enough to bother with then it's not big enough to fester about either.... Giving it to God is the only recourse I really have in dealing with these feelings so they don't turn into sinful actions like gossiping or animosity.

So I urge you, no matter what your feelings are about different things and different people give them to God and let Him direct their paths.

Love you all and pray for your hearts to be close to the Almighty God.

Have a great day!!!

ok take two...

This is the second time I am attempting to write this blog. The first time didn't go well as I hit a wrong key and lost what I wrote. Don't worry, it wasn't that much, just a few words actually. This did get me thinking though, you ever wish you could have a take 2 in your life. I certainly do some days. But we do not get a take two..... so I guess we have to make the best of what we do do. We have to think before we act and we have to think before we react. Lots of times we act or react out of habit and reflex. Is that the proper thing to do though? no. our instincts and our reflexes are full of fleshly desires and thoughts. We need to focus on Christ's will and desire for us. That includes how He wishes we would behave. To act as God wishes us to take discipline and thoughts. It takes determination and planning. when we act without thinking it usually gets us in to trouble. Ok, not usually, almost always... think about it though, it's true.

We are still like children in God's eyes. We still have a lot to learn. Just like a child who wanders off on his own we get lost in our own world without direction. Adults help children stay on the right track, stay out of trouble. God helps us do the same. Before you go on about your day I urge you to ask God for guidance. He is always willing to help out. :)

I am sitting here.........

Ok, so that is what I am doing, sitting here... doing nothing. I'm thinking though., thinking of what to write. I wish to write but am not sure what to write about. I do not like when that feeling happens. Being unsure is not something I am very comfortable with. I'm sure most people feel that way though. I mean who wants to feel unsure about things? Who really wants to feel confused? I know I do not like it at all.
With God though, we can always feel sure about things. We can always rest in His arms and know He will help us through our tough times. With His comfort we can be assured that He has our best interests at heart and He will never lead us astray or into danger.

Us though? We lead ourselves into danger on a daily basis. Each day we follow our flesh to some degree. So why does that put us in danger?  Well, you ever hear the saying that you can't worship two masters? That is the just of the situation when you follow your flesh or won desires. You are "worshiping" or following your own fleshly desires.

When you were a kid I'm sure your mother told you not to do something that you thought was fun or entertaining. I am also sure that at one time or another you disobeyed her and did it anyways. You followed your own desires and not those of your mother. Did it get you into trouble? Maybe not the situation but the disobedience? I'm sure your mom didn't look to happy on the fact that you disobeyed her. You probably were punished in some way. Or you found yourself in a compromising situation that you could have avoided had you obeyed your mom.

That is the way it is with God. When we do not obey Him and follow His lead for us in our lives we place ourselves in compromising situations. We sometimes miss out of blessings that we could have had had we obeyed, or we end up in a situation we do not know how to get out of unscathed. If we had only listened to the guiding of the Holy Spirit we could have avoided the problem our disobedience has caused.

I don't know about you but I really do not want to find myself in compromising situations. I like being safe and sound. I like being protected. I like not getting into trouble.

So as you go about your day may you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and may it keep you out of trouble.
I know I will try. :)