too scared to be near it

Hi. Right now my kids are playing with their Nerf blow dart guns their father made for them. To see my kids laughing and playing, and their father being silly with them, has sure made this day wonderful!
Adam, my oldest, has been suffering all weekend with side pain and nausea due to a kidney infection. Daniel, my youngest, was sick this morning also. :( I hate when the kids are sick.
Anyhow, today Mike and I went to church by ourselves because both boys were sick. It was an enjoyable teaching but I did miss my children. The teachings at church have been phenomenal lately. I have learned so much! My pastor's wife, Ellen, has come up with a list of foolish traits one might have in regards to their relationship with Christ, as found in Proverbs. I will include that list in another blog. Right now I want to tell you what happened to me on the way home from church. It scared me beyond my imagination. I feel quite stupid about it but I wanted to share because I had a thought when it happened that I got excited about. ~~~ If only....... mmmmmmmmmm (sorry daydreaming! lol) ~~~~~

Ok, I'm awake now. We own a Dodge Caravan, gold in color. It has bucket seats in the front and two benches in the back. I was sitting in the front (bucket) passenger seat and Mike, of course, was driving. We were going along with no problems when I happened to look down at my lap. OM MY GOODNESS!!!!!

If you know me you know I hate spiders. I have tried and tried and tried till I am blue in the face not to be and I have gotten much better over the years. I am not sure why they freak me out so much as I know that I am bigger then then and I can kill them with barely a thought but for some illogical reason they still scare me.

Right next to my leg was a small hairy, black and yellow (or so it looked) spider. If you can imagine this happening to someone who hates spiders, but trying to be brave, you can see how I would feel. I was trying to keep "brave" and not be squeamish, just gasped a little bit. (Enough for Mike to look over at me though.) then it happened!
IT JUMPED!!!! on to my LEG!!!!!!!  That was it! I shot across -- towards mike, who is driving, -- the passenger seat until less that half my body is on the seat. Most of it was suspended in the air between the seats. I was not happy at this moment. In fact, much to my dismay (and embarrassment) I was terrified. I have no reasonable reason though as I know I m bigger then this spider.

So, Mike pulled over, being the wonderful husband that he is, and spider killer to boot. He got out of the car, opened my door while I jumped into the driver seat, to kill that big (rather tiny actually) ugly, hairy. jumping spider. Only he couldn't find that stupid icky spider!!!!! So, I trying again to be brave feeling stupidly scared, move back to my seat and he gets in his seat. We start to drive home. Then, as I am taking a sip of my water, I see the spider again, close to me! My heart races, I gasp again and jump towards Mike. My lovely, wonderfully supportive husband again pulls over to get the mean ole spider. This time he finds it and swooshes it out of the car, freeing me from it's terror. Meanwhile, I am having a hard time keeping my breath steady and almost on the verge of tears, again, feel so stupid while sitting in the driver's seat again.

All the way home I am peeking everywhere I can see from my seat while I am buckled safely in, and UNABLE to jump out of the way if a wayward spider decides to scare me again. My breathe is not steady and my heart is beating out of my chest. I am left feeling scared and worried and much to my embarrased thoughts, feeling really stupid for being scared.

So why am I talking about all this if it embarrassing? Well, because of the thought that crossed my mind on the way home of course! lol

What if we could jump out of the way of sin when it comes near us? it sure would save us a lot of time, energy wasted on the sin and the frustrating, humbling time picking up ourselves after the sin is done. If only we could just, like Mike, swoosh it out of the way. That would be so nice! It would be much easier for us to keep the relationship with Christ free and clear so we can be more intimate with Him.

I would love to be able to wake up one morning and not have to worry about if I sin that day. I could just look at the day and jump out of the way of sin that is trying to distract me from my Saviour. :)

If only.... I would love to be too scared to be near it. wouldn't you?