Tonight
I sit here thinking about friendship. What does it mean to be a friend?
Webster’s
online dictionary defines it this way.
friend
noun \ˈfrend\
: a person who you like and enjoy
being with
: a person who helps or supports
someone or something (such as a cause or charity)
Friendship
is defined as this:
friend·ship
noun \ˈfren(d)-ˌship\
: the state of being friends : the
relationship between friends
: a friendly feeling or attitude :
kindness or help given to someone
So
friendship seems to be two fold; according to how I read the above.
1
– to be a friend to others
2
– someone being a friend to you.
Scripture,
according the Bible dictionary I have, says a friend is one who associates
familiarly with one, a companion, an associate, a friend, to be friendly to
one, to wish him well.
From
everything I can find in the dictionary and in Scriptures being a friend is the
most important part of friendship. Reaching out to others, being kind, helpful,
attentive, nurturing, caring, and considerate are general traits in being a
friend.
In
today’s world people have put aside the traditional way of being friends. Yes,
I know, we all change as time goes on. I get that. With technology, the way we
are friends changes also. Texting, facebook’s newfeed wall, private facebook
messages, instagram, twitter. It all has become so impersonal, so cold.
Where
did the phone calls go?
Where
did the letters in the mail go?
How
about stopping by someone’s house for a visit?
When
things are said online they can be easily misconstrued and they lack emotions;
voice inflections, facial expressions.
When
I was growing up my parents were the “old” ones. They were older than any of my
friends’ parents. They not only were older, they were ‘old school’ too. We
earned what we had, we ate what we were served, and we were respectful and
caring and helpful. We did not have caller id or call waiting; no computers or
VHS players. I was not allowed to be on the phone much and I was encouraged to
go visit my friends instead of calling them. I do not see that with kids today.
I find that sad.
Friendships
have become electronic. The teens I do see that do hang out with each other, do
so because of convenience. When a person no longer fits their perceived need or has offended them in some
way, they are unfriended on facebook, blocked on the cell phone or ignored in
person. What happened to fixing the friendship? I don’t know.
I
started this blog upset. I usually type when I am upset or when things are on
my mind. Tonight is no different. In fact, while everyone is sleeping, I find
myself mulling things over in my head. As I sit here typing God works on my
heart. Tonight is no exception. He has taught me some lessons writing this blog
tonight. For that I am thankful.
Over
the last few months I have been trying to figure out what exactly friendship is
and what you can expect out of it. Do you know what I can come up with?
Friendship starts with us – you, me, individually. Christ didn’t say to wait
for others to be friends. He didn’t say to expect friendships. He didn’t say to
hang on to friendships. He said to strive to be like Him. He gave us the best
example there is. He was patient when it was needed, caring, attentive,
nurturing, thoughtful, and yet harsh, straight forward and truthful at times.
Even
though friendship starts with us it is joined by another. The two interact and
complement each other.
Friendships
are not easy at times. They are not at all perfect. We are humans and we are
all messed up to some degree. When that happens we need to be understanding of
one another. If there is a problem we need to go to that person with compassion
and a heartfelt desire to fix the wrongs; even if it was us who were in the
wrong. When things do go wrong we need to forgive. Christ is the best example
of that. In all we try to do right we sin every day despite our best efforts.
Christ forgives us every time we repent. How much more are we to forgive those
who trespass against us?
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto
him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21&22(KJV)
I
urge you to reach out to your friends. It’s hard when it’s so cold out and you
don’t want to go anywhere. Cabin fever sets in and the loneliness feeds itself.
Reaching out to your friends not only makes you feel better it might just make
them feel better too. If someone reaches out to you, don’t just dismiss them.
Accept their effort; don’t dismiss it and shun them. Don’t think they are doing
ok, just because you are. They truly may not be doing well at all.
Lift
others up and guide them to Christ. It’s in our down times that we forget to
look up. Sometimes we only need a friend to help guide us.
Hold
your friendships dear.
Love
them, cherish them, encourage them.
Everyone
needs a friend.
