Loneliness - A Spiritual Tool

Loneliness, Loneliness - It can be suffocating.

Sometimes one can isolate one's self intentionally. Sometimes it just happens without one even realizing it is happening. I have felt lonely on and off for months now. That is part of depression. But that is not what this blog post is about. Today I want to talk about what I like to call "Intentional Loneliness."

There comes a time when we must choose how to behave. Every person has this choice. We find ourselves facing this multiple times, often in one day. Sometimes it simple choices sometimes it is a matter of choosing to sin.


Sinning is a choice. Sometimes it's an intentional choice others we do it without even thinking.
When that happens we need to take action.


Today, I found myself sitting alone in the hallway at church. In the past I have done this because of loneliness. Feeling alone in a crowded room with people I know and call my friends. Then, there are times like today. Nothing was wrong. I felt no disconnect with those around me. I enjoyed the conversations and I enjoyed the fellowship. So, why would I be sitting in the hallway, by myself, enjoying the loneliness?

Loneliness can be a spiritual tool. Today I used that tool. I do not tell you this to toot my own horn or to puff myself up and make myself look good in front of you. I tell you this so that you also may use this tool.

I have a sin issue. We all do, I know that. My sin issue is that I am easy to jump on the gossip bandwagon.  It is entertaining to talk, with no harming intentions at all, with no desires to spread unredeeming words of another. But it is the mouth that spews words before we think.

Matthew 15:18 says "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.".

I wish to never defile another, much less myself. I know I have done just that in the past though. I know that I am not capable of being sinless. I know that trying to be sinless takes work. If being lonely can help me sin less then I must do it.

So, I chose to sit in the hallway today rather then run into the possibility of sinning.

No one ever said being a Christian was easy. No one ever said it would come naturally. In fact, Scripture says the opposite on both parts. When one follows Christ there will be hardships and there will be isolation. But with God there never is true isolation. With God our burdens become His when we rely on Him alone.

So today, with that in mind, I enjoyed the quietness of the hallway. It was refreshing to my spirit as I sat there on the cold floor. And I loved it.

Lonely out of necessity.
Lonely out of desire.
Lonely to keep me pure.
Lonely to keep me right

Flittery thoughts

I won't lie. This winter has been rough. Between the isolation and the cold my depression hasn't been managed completely this winter. Some days are rougher than others. Some days are wonderful. It's those wonderful days that I cherish. 

When I get down or when I have a lot on my mind I tend to write poems. I'm not the best poet but at least it clears my mind. I thought I would like to share one of those poems here. 


Flittery Thoughts

Oh, the things that go through my mind. 
Sometimes they make me crazy. 
Sometimes they keep me sane.

Little do I know what will pop up next. 
Flitter here and there, erupting without notice.
It's up to me to control them. 
Oh they wiggle and squirm, the play hide and seek 
Just to keep me from stopping them.

I need to enlist - 
One that is bigger, stronger and more focused than I. 

My God is bigger. 
My God is smarter. 
My God is more discerning. 

These wiggly, flittery thoughts run and hide till another day.
They are smart, they know whose boss. 
They know when the big guns are out.
 
I am weak but in His strength can I rely. 
That makes me smart too.