For the girl that wants to date my son

For the girl that wants to date my son. 

We encourage you to get to know us as a family; our likes and dislikes, our morals and values, our rules and beliefs; get to know who we are and what we are made out of. For in them you will see what our son is truly like. In turn we want to get to know you. We want you to know that we are interested in you and your life, your family and your dreams. We want you to know why we do not allow dating.

Dating is a tricky subject for many families. Some do not mind it at all. Some think it’s cute and adorable. Some joke about it from a young age and some refuse to discuss it until a child reaches “the right age”. Some hate but tolerate it and some refuse to allow it. Some people just don't feel one way or the other; it's just something one does and eventually one gets married. Everyone seems to have an opinion about how it should be done and everyone seems to think their opinion is the right one. Even though some say they don't have an opinion, everyone really does.

Dating can be called many things; hooking up, hanging out, going steady, being exclusive, seeing, being into and so forth. Some even call their version of dating courting. Courting and dating, in my opinion are way different. Dating has a perception that one could ‘date’ anyone without repercussions, without expectations, without damaging results. Dating has a purpose of enjoying who you are with and feeling good in the relationship. Dating is very selfish. I see no specific purpose other than feeling good; about yourself and about who you are dating. Dating can involve reaching all the ‘bases’ including sex. Hands grope, lips kiss, people mauling, pawing and putting aside one’s personal space is very common. Dating is very self focused. I dated when I was young. I remember the feelings coursing through my mind, my body, causing me to forgo the teachings of my parents, the teachings of the Bible.

Courting, however, has a specific purpose in mind; marriage. With courting you are seeking out a lifelong partner. You are just as interested in the other person’s long term relationship as you are in yours. God is the focus and God is doing the leading; at least one would hope so. Getting to know each other is the focus. It involves looking beyond the now, looking beyond our flesh and seeing the future; or at least trying to envision it. Courting involves both families, not just the teens or young adults. There is a saying that when you marry someone you don’t just marry them; you marry their whole family. I think that is right. When you are married you are now accepted into the family fold. Getting to know the family of the person you are courting just makes sense if you are looking for a future with them. Courting means waiting. When we are able to put our fleshly desires aside and we are able to focus on creating a lifelong bond. We can see the person for who they are and not what they can do for us it makes a big difference. We can develop that emotional and spiritual bond that goes beyond the physical. The physical only lasts for so long sometimes, but a bond brought forth in friendship lasts much longer.  

Courting is God focused. Our family tries to as God focused as we can. We are a fun family who values people and friendships. We all have ministries that we love even if the world doesn't consider them 'ministries'. We find joy in the little things in life, a walk in the park, going for a drive, eating ice cream sundaes, building with Keva Planks. We enjoy talking to each other, keeping each other with things, building each other up. We enjoy laughing and being silly. We enjoy sarcasm. We enjoy reading God's Word, church, family movies, and good books. We enjoy life without the drama.

Our family is God focused. So, beautiful young lady, if you are interested in courting our son know that my heart wants to welcome you.

Loneliness - A Spiritual Tool

Loneliness, Loneliness - It can be suffocating.

Sometimes one can isolate one's self intentionally. Sometimes it just happens without one even realizing it is happening. I have felt lonely on and off for months now. That is part of depression. But that is not what this blog post is about. Today I want to talk about what I like to call "Intentional Loneliness."

There comes a time when we must choose how to behave. Every person has this choice. We find ourselves facing this multiple times, often in one day. Sometimes it simple choices sometimes it is a matter of choosing to sin.


Sinning is a choice. Sometimes it's an intentional choice others we do it without even thinking.
When that happens we need to take action.


Today, I found myself sitting alone in the hallway at church. In the past I have done this because of loneliness. Feeling alone in a crowded room with people I know and call my friends. Then, there are times like today. Nothing was wrong. I felt no disconnect with those around me. I enjoyed the conversations and I enjoyed the fellowship. So, why would I be sitting in the hallway, by myself, enjoying the loneliness?

Loneliness can be a spiritual tool. Today I used that tool. I do not tell you this to toot my own horn or to puff myself up and make myself look good in front of you. I tell you this so that you also may use this tool.

I have a sin issue. We all do, I know that. My sin issue is that I am easy to jump on the gossip bandwagon.  It is entertaining to talk, with no harming intentions at all, with no desires to spread unredeeming words of another. But it is the mouth that spews words before we think.

Matthew 15:18 says "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.".

I wish to never defile another, much less myself. I know I have done just that in the past though. I know that I am not capable of being sinless. I know that trying to be sinless takes work. If being lonely can help me sin less then I must do it.

So, I chose to sit in the hallway today rather then run into the possibility of sinning.

No one ever said being a Christian was easy. No one ever said it would come naturally. In fact, Scripture says the opposite on both parts. When one follows Christ there will be hardships and there will be isolation. But with God there never is true isolation. With God our burdens become His when we rely on Him alone.

So today, with that in mind, I enjoyed the quietness of the hallway. It was refreshing to my spirit as I sat there on the cold floor. And I loved it.

Lonely out of necessity.
Lonely out of desire.
Lonely to keep me pure.
Lonely to keep me right

Jesus' Birthday Cake

I saw this idea quite a number of years ago and fell in love with it! I hope you also enjoy it!

My Bridesmaid's Ribbon Cake or Cake Pull Adaptation

A new bride would place charms (attached to ribbons) in the cake. The single ladies at her wedding, or her bridesmaids, would  each pull a ribbon revealing a charm. The charms have symbolic means to them. I won't go into that here though. What I want to do is introduce to you an adaptation of this for Christmas. In all actuality you could adapt this for any occasion.

These are all cute ideas, for a wedding. How can we do this for Christmas though?

Instead of using charms I typed up Scripture references one year and another year I listed people that were involved or related to the birth of Christ; the shepherds, inn keeper, Mary, Joseph, etc...
As each person pulled out the paper (by pulling the ribbon it was attached to) we read the Scripture or discussed the character who was listed on that paper. In order to make sure the paper was not affected by the cake or frosting I covered it in tape prior to putting it into the cake. (You could also put it under the cake and have wax paper between the cake and the papers.)

After all the ribbons were pulled we enjoyed a delicious cake while listening to Christmas music. 

The kids loved being able to participate in learning more about the birth of Christ and not just sitting there listening to a story. It also helps refocus their attention away from receiving gifts and on the Saviour's birth instead.

I hope you liked our little Christmas cake idea. Even thought my boys are older I think we will revisit this idea this year.