Friendship

Tonight I sit here thinking about friendship. What does it mean to be a friend?

Webster’s online dictionary defines it this way.

friend

noun \ˈfrend\

: a person who you like and enjoy being with

: a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)

Friendship is defined as this:

friend·ship

noun \ˈfren(d)-ˌship\

: the state of being friends : the relationship between friends

: a friendly feeling or attitude : kindness or help given to someone

So friendship seems to be two fold; according to how I read the above.

1 – to be a friend to others

2 – someone being a friend to you.

Scripture, according the Bible dictionary I have, says a friend is one who associates familiarly with one, a companion, an associate, a friend, to be friendly to one, to wish him well. 

From everything I can find in the dictionary and in Scriptures being a friend is the most important part of friendship. Reaching out to others, being kind, helpful, attentive, nurturing, caring, and considerate are general traits in being a friend. 

In today’s world people have put aside the traditional way of being friends. Yes, I know, we all change as time goes on. I get that. With technology, the way we are friends changes also. Texting, facebook’s newfeed wall, private facebook messages, instagram, twitter. It all has become so impersonal, so cold. 

Where did the phone calls go?

Where did the letters in the mail go?

How about stopping by someone’s house for a visit?

When things are said online they can be easily misconstrued and they lack emotions; voice inflections, facial expressions.

When I was growing up my parents were the “old” ones. They were older than any of my friends’ parents. They not only were older, they were ‘old school’ too. We earned what we had, we ate what we were served, and we were respectful and caring and helpful. We did not have caller id or call waiting; no computers or VHS players. I was not allowed to be on the phone much and I was encouraged to go visit my friends instead of calling them. I do not see that with kids today. I find that sad.

Friendships have become electronic. The teens I do see that do hang out with each other, do so because of convenience. When a person no longer fits their  perceived need or has offended them in some way, they are unfriended on facebook, blocked on the cell phone or ignored in person. What happened to fixing the friendship? I don’t know.

I started this blog upset. I usually type when I am upset or when things are on my mind. Tonight is no different. In fact, while everyone is sleeping, I find myself mulling things over in my head. As I sit here typing God works on my heart. Tonight is no exception. He has taught me some lessons writing this blog tonight. For that I am thankful.

Over the last few months I have been trying to figure out what exactly friendship is and what you can expect out of it. Do you know what I can come up with? Friendship starts with us – you, me, individually. Christ didn’t say to wait for others to be friends. He didn’t say to expect friendships. He didn’t say to hang on to friendships. He said to strive to be like Him. He gave us the best example there is. He was patient when it was needed, caring, attentive, nurturing, thoughtful, and yet harsh, straight forward and truthful at times.

Even though friendship starts with us it is joined by another. The two interact and complement each other.

Friendships are not easy at times. They are not at all perfect. We are humans and we are all messed up to some degree. When that happens we need to be understanding of one another. If there is a problem we need to go to that person with compassion and a heartfelt desire to fix the wrongs; even if it was us who were in the wrong. When things do go wrong we need to forgive. Christ is the best example of that. In all we try to do right we sin every day despite our best efforts. Christ forgives us every time we repent. How much more are we to forgive those who trespass against us? 

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21&22(KJV)

I urge you to reach out to your friends. It’s hard when it’s so cold out and you don’t want to go anywhere. Cabin fever sets in and the loneliness feeds itself. Reaching out to your friends not only makes you feel better it might just make them feel better too. If someone reaches out to you, don’t just dismiss them. Accept their effort; don’t dismiss it and shun them. Don’t think they are doing ok, just because you are. They truly may not be doing well at all.

Lift others up and guide them to Christ. It’s in our down times that we forget to look up. Sometimes we only need a friend to help guide us.

Hold your friendships dear.

Love them, cherish them, encourage them.

Everyone needs a friend.

Jesus' Birthday Cake

I saw this idea quite a number of years ago and fell in love with it! I hope you also enjoy it!

My Bridesmaid's Ribbon Cake or Cake Pull Adaptation

A new bride would place charms (attached to ribbons) in the cake. The single ladies at her wedding, or her bridesmaids, would  each pull a ribbon revealing a charm. The charms have symbolic means to them. I won't go into that here though. What I want to do is introduce to you an adaptation of this for Christmas. In all actuality you could adapt this for any occasion.

These are all cute ideas, for a wedding. How can we do this for Christmas though?

Instead of using charms I typed up Scripture references one year and another year I listed people that were involved or related to the birth of Christ; the shepherds, inn keeper, Mary, Joseph, etc...
As each person pulled out the paper (by pulling the ribbon it was attached to) we read the Scripture or discussed the character who was listed on that paper. In order to make sure the paper was not affected by the cake or frosting I covered it in tape prior to putting it into the cake. (You could also put it under the cake and have wax paper between the cake and the papers.)

After all the ribbons were pulled we enjoyed a delicious cake while listening to Christmas music. 

The kids loved being able to participate in learning more about the birth of Christ and not just sitting there listening to a story. It also helps refocus their attention away from receiving gifts and on the Saviour's birth instead.

I hope you liked our little Christmas cake idea. Even thought my boys are older I think we will revisit this idea this year.

Is homeschooling really a choice?

Homeschooling...

To some it's a choice. To some it's most certainly is not a choice at all. Some know right from the birth of their child that there is never really a choice IF they homeschool. To them it's a given that they will. To some, homeschooling may not even be a thought. The idea of not putting one's child in school is preposterous. Every child goes to school, right? I mean, who would want to have their child home all day, every day?

If children were homeschooled would they even listen to your instruction? How would you control them? How would they learn anything valuable? Wouldn't it badly affect their future? Would they ever be able to go to college or get a good job?

If you have special needs children there must be no way you could ever homeschool them, right? How would that work? They need so much help. There is no way you can provide all they nee, right?

If I homeschooled my children would they ever have friends? Would they graduate high school? How would that affect them emotionally? Socially? Academically?

To me, it never was a choice. I was certain I would homeschool my children for all of their educational years. My husband thought we would only homeschool until 3rd grade. We ended up homeschooling from 2000 until 2006 then again 2009 until the present. We did put our children in public school for a bit and it was clearly a mistake to me. My husband thinks it was a lesson learned for both ourselves and our children.

Anyhow, it was a time I regret. This post is not about that though. This post is about how any one can homeschool and how everyone should.

 You CAN homeschool. Anyone CAN homeschool. It only takes commitment. It requires nothing else.

Are you committed to your child's well being? Are you committed to helping them be a productive person in society? Are you committed to teaching them the ways of the Lord as the Bible describes? Then you MUST  homeschool. It's the only way to ensure that your child will be the best they can be and that you have done everything to help them be that person.

As a believer, follower and acceptor of Jesus Christ can you honestly say you are doing everything possible for your child and still put them in public school? I cannot. My thoughts are simple. I'll state them in bullet points for you. These are strictly from a Christian born again perspective.

1 - If I am to the be the guiding force in my child's life, leading them to God's righteousness and ultimately to His gift of salvation, how can I do that while sending them away 8 hours a day?

2 - God instructs us to train up our children in the way of the Lord. How can I do that if I have no control over them for 8 hours a day?

3 - What influences are coming into my child's mind?

4 - Who are his friends and what are they talking about, watching, doing? How much of the world is being pressed on my child by his or her peers?

5 - What is the teacher teaching? What books are being read in class? What is being discussed and from what perspective?

6 - How much of what is influencing my child is pushing God out of the picture?

If I were to come from a non Christian perspective I might think things like how best might my child learn? Are they falling through the cracks of academic success? Might they learn better if they learn at their own pace? Might they be able to explore academic areas beyond those in the school? Or be able to delve more deeply into areas of interest? Is my child being held back; socially, academically, emotionally?

What can I do about those things? How best can I help my child be the person they are destined to be? How can I help my child be best they can be?

Homeschooling isn't seclusion. It isn't socially inept children. It is not public schooling at home. It is so much more!

It is about learning and loving to learn. It is about exploring and creating and broadening our horizons. It's about bringing the world in and learning about all it's facets. Using moments to teach not just text books. It's about living life.

I encourage every parent to homeschool. I encourage every parent to at least explore the idea - mull it over, process it, delve into the idea... see what it's outcome might be. Consider it before jumping to a conclusion that it's only right wing radical's who homeschool.Just don't, please don't dismiss it before considering it. Your child's life is at stake.