The guilt of homeschooling

The guilt of homeschooling. Even if you think you don't feel guilt right now I'm fairly certain almost every homeschooler has felt a tinge of it once ion their homeschooling adventure.

I have struggled with guilt over homeschooling our two special needs children. I have struggled EVEN MORE over the guilt of putting my children IN public school. Pulling them back out, I did not struggle with but I did struggle with if I gave them the best education I could. Having one child already graduating and one to graduate next June, I STILL struggle with guilt.

Guilt over what? I am doing the right thing, of course. We all go through it, we all have those moments of feeling like a failure; as a parent and as an educator. (You are ALWAYS educating your children, even if you do not homeschool. You are the primary person your children look to for guidance and for learning. Monkey see monkey do, you ever hear that phrase? It's true. You swear? Your child will end up spouting the F bomb or the S word a time or two. You pray daily and read Scripture? You know your child will notice and they will mimic.) Guilt over the life long impact I am imparting on my children. Did I do well enough? Could I have done better? No matter what I do or didn't do the guilt remains. I know I did the best I could and have tried my best to follow god's direction for our family. I know I tried my hardest to pick up on the cues my sons were giving me as to what they needed in all areas of life, eduction being only part of that.

Why is it then that homeschoolers get this overwhelming feeling of failure when they look back at their child's education; the education they put into place.
Everyone wants to keep up with the Jones. Everyone wants that smarter then average children. Everyone wants to be noticed for doing a great job. Face it, when you educate your children at home you are being scrutinized on all sides for how well your children turn out; even by yourself. Everyone wants to be found doing a phenomenal job.

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Notice I did not say guilty? I am not guilty but at times I am filled with guilt. Unwarranted most of the time but there nonetheless. Step back, take a breath, stop to think - rationally think. You will see that if you are doing the best you can and you are following the homeschooling laws set forth in your local area then you are guilty of only one thing. You are guilty of loving your child enough to help educated them in the best way you know how.

Take that step back and remember that God did not call the qualified. He qualifies the called. If you have children then you have been called to raise them. Don't let the guilt overwhelm you. Don't let the kids down the block cloud your judgement as to how to raise your own child. Go before God himself and ask for guidance; He will surely answer.

My feelings of guilt come and go but I know that I have done the best I could for my children; righting wrongs as we go. I know I will continue to do the best I can for them too. I don't know everything, I am still learning. What I do know is that my children have far exceeded my expectations in life and I know they will continue to do so if I continue to expect their best and teach them to expect their best too.

Keep the big picture in mind when you see little things not going so well. It's the big picture in the end that makes the difference. The little things, with the long term perspective, will fall into place. In our house, the big picture is ultimately to raise our kids with a love for the Lord most of all but also to be productive people in society and to never stop learning

Is homeschooling really a choice?

Homeschooling...

To some it's a choice. To some it's most certainly is not a choice at all. Some know right from the birth of their child that there is never really a choice IF they homeschool. To them it's a given that they will. To some, homeschooling may not even be a thought. The idea of not putting one's child in school is preposterous. Every child goes to school, right? I mean, who would want to have their child home all day, every day?

If children were homeschooled would they even listen to your instruction? How would you control them? How would they learn anything valuable? Wouldn't it badly affect their future? Would they ever be able to go to college or get a good job?

If you have special needs children there must be no way you could ever homeschool them, right? How would that work? They need so much help. There is no way you can provide all they nee, right?

If I homeschooled my children would they ever have friends? Would they graduate high school? How would that affect them emotionally? Socially? Academically?

To me, it never was a choice. I was certain I would homeschool my children for all of their educational years. My husband thought we would only homeschool until 3rd grade. We ended up homeschooling from 2000 until 2006 then again 2009 until the present. We did put our children in public school for a bit and it was clearly a mistake to me. My husband thinks it was a lesson learned for both ourselves and our children.

Anyhow, it was a time I regret. This post is not about that though. This post is about how any one can homeschool and how everyone should.

 You CAN homeschool. Anyone CAN homeschool. It only takes commitment. It requires nothing else.

Are you committed to your child's well being? Are you committed to helping them be a productive person in society? Are you committed to teaching them the ways of the Lord as the Bible describes? Then you MUST  homeschool. It's the only way to ensure that your child will be the best they can be and that you have done everything to help them be that person.

As a believer, follower and acceptor of Jesus Christ can you honestly say you are doing everything possible for your child and still put them in public school? I cannot. My thoughts are simple. I'll state them in bullet points for you. These are strictly from a Christian born again perspective.

1 - If I am to the be the guiding force in my child's life, leading them to God's righteousness and ultimately to His gift of salvation, how can I do that while sending them away 8 hours a day?

2 - God instructs us to train up our children in the way of the Lord. How can I do that if I have no control over them for 8 hours a day?

3 - What influences are coming into my child's mind?

4 - Who are his friends and what are they talking about, watching, doing? How much of the world is being pressed on my child by his or her peers?

5 - What is the teacher teaching? What books are being read in class? What is being discussed and from what perspective?

6 - How much of what is influencing my child is pushing God out of the picture?

If I were to come from a non Christian perspective I might think things like how best might my child learn? Are they falling through the cracks of academic success? Might they learn better if they learn at their own pace? Might they be able to explore academic areas beyond those in the school? Or be able to delve more deeply into areas of interest? Is my child being held back; socially, academically, emotionally?

What can I do about those things? How best can I help my child be the person they are destined to be? How can I help my child be best they can be?

Homeschooling isn't seclusion. It isn't socially inept children. It is not public schooling at home. It is so much more!

It is about learning and loving to learn. It is about exploring and creating and broadening our horizons. It's about bringing the world in and learning about all it's facets. Using moments to teach not just text books. It's about living life.

I encourage every parent to homeschool. I encourage every parent to at least explore the idea - mull it over, process it, delve into the idea... see what it's outcome might be. Consider it before jumping to a conclusion that it's only right wing radical's who homeschool.Just don't, please don't dismiss it before considering it. Your child's life is at stake.