I urge you, be that man.

The man I want you to become....

I dreamed of a man who would sweep me off my feet and make me feel special every day of my life. I dreamed of a man whom I could live my whole life with knowing I was secure in his love. Prince Charming comes to mind.

Instead I have a man who is so much more. Through dirty cloth-diapers washed by his hands, scrubbing vomit out of the carpets at 3 am, comforting children screaming from night terrors... through Asperger's, Moebius, allergies, meltdowns, hissy fits, fibromyalgia, depression and debilitating migraines... through surgeries, therapies, unending doctor appointments... I have a man who has thrived. He is so much more than Prince Charming. He is so much more than I ever dreamed.

Be that man. Be so much more.

Being a man does not come from your genes. It comes from commitment and love and selflessness. It comes from within.

Be that man. Commit to your marriage. Commit to your love. Commit to being selfless. Commit to your wife. Commit to your children.

Know that a man will hold a crying baby at 3 in the morning so his wife can rest. They will  bandage skinned knees, wipe tears away, hold the Kleenex for a booger-filled nose. A man will tell his sick wife (who hasn't showered all day and looks like she just got run over) how beautiful she is. A man will hold her close and tell her that he will make dinner tonight and put the kids to bed.

A real man will desire a woman who is modest in her clothing. He will know that true beauty is inside and that by her covering herself she is respecting the temple of God. He will not compare her to others because he knows that degrades her. He will show her his love through his actions, not just his words.

A real man will read Scriptures to his wife while she does the dishes. A man will help with those very same dishes. On days that the house is a mess and the wife is exhausted a real man will bring home KFC or take the kids to McDonald's. If money is tight, as it often is, that man will just make hot dogs and mac and cheese for the kids instead.

A man knows that in order to raise children who will become wonderful spouses he must first be one himself. If he ever desires his children to have healthy relationships he must model that for them.

He will show his wife he loves her in front of the kids. He will act out that love in his daily interactions. He will talk kindly about her to his children. His friends will know he loves her. His friends will know that through problems he will persevere.

A real man knows that family comes with messes, disagreements and chaos. A man won't mind that as he knows it's only temporary. He knows that anything worth keeping will require struggling through the messes, chaos and disagreements. He knows that struggling through will strengthen him and his family.

He knows putting God before all is what makes it all worth while. He knows that by leaning on the Savior he can stand tall.

So, my sons, I urge you, be that man.

The rantings of an extrovert living with introverts

I say this is the rantings of... because I feel like I am ranting. I'm not meaning to so please bear with me.

I am extrovert. I like people. I like being around people; hearing their conversations, seeing their activities, watching and participating in their lives being lived. In my house I see little of that.

My children are introverts. My husband is an introvert. That means that most of the time during the day it is fairly quiet around here. If a project is being worked on they are focused - which keeps them quiet. The boys are either in their room or on the play station or computer. Daniel also works on his school work independently and Adam goes for hour long walks. All that leaves little conversation with me, actually aside from playing the PS3 it leaves little conversation between them also. They are happy with that. They like the quiet from what I can tell.

I'm an extrovert. I'm not a person who reflects often. I'm not one to contemplate things. I'm a doer. I have learned to be a planner. I someone called me up right now and said "Hey, let's go somewhere." I would jump up and say I'll meet you there! IF I had a car. Which I don't. And no one calls me. So that doesn't happen. What does happen is quietness.

How do I cope? Some days I get depressed, withdrawn and quiet. I get bored... I sleep, I watch tv, I eat, I stay bored - some days. Boredom is the enemy for me. I have to get creative. I have to keep busy.

Some days I find things to keep me busy. I clean, I cook, I scrapbook. But I can't do those things all the time. Cooking only goes so far when no one eats as much as I make. It ends up just wasting food. Not a good thing. Cleaning can only be done for so long before it's all done. Scrapbooking is a great activity for me. I love doing it. It keeps my mind occupied and active. However, now that we have the tree up for Christmas I have no room to scrapbook. It will have to wait until January.

In warm weather I walk. I go to the library. I visit my neighbor when she is home. I sit outside and watch the activity of others.

For now I just have to think. I have to get creative in how to keep my mind sane. I will do it and spring will be here soon. Then I can be more active. I can find more things to keep me busy.

Disclaimer: I'm not looking for suggestions or for anyone to "solve" my issue. I'm not looking for pity. I'm only sharing this to get it off my chest.