lesson learned

Today has been a rough day for me with my walk with God. Not that I have not felt close to Him or anything. I have not been disobedient, to my knowledge. I have actually prayed quite a bit today, feeling thankful for all He has done for me. So why has it been rough? Well, not only was I taught one lesson today, I was taught 2!

First might I explain what happened today... Well, I have been in a slump, feeling frustrated and sad because I feel compelled, almost "required" to break contact with someone I once was very, very close with.  Due to once being close to this person breaking off the relationship, in my mind, is inconceivable... It is not something I want to do. This someone has always claimed to be saved, to Love the Lord God with all their heart. This person and I have been through a lot (I mean A LOT!!) together. Not talking to this person, albeit very seldom as of late, brings sadness to my heart. If I feel so close to this person why do I feel compelled to break contact? Well, it is easy. They have offended my God, the one True God. Their behavior is not only atrocious and wrong (according the the Word that they say they follow) but they have lived their life this way for some time, a lot longer then I care to admit. To sit idly by and watch this person disgrace the God that I love so much hurts me deeply. I have tried to talk to this person. I have tried to reason with this person. I have prayed and prayed and prayed.......... but my compelling feelings have not changed, nor has their behavior.

Then a couple of days ago, this person was very rude to me because their views differed from mine, which were based on Scriptures. When I asked this person not to be rude, I was then told off... This was not the first time this type of situation has come up. So, you see I have a choice........ do I sit back quietly while they continue to act opposite the Scriptures while telling everyone they are Saved, and stay friends with them therefore seeming to condone their behavior? OR Do I cut my losses, end the friendship, live for Christ and leave it all up to God?

Gee, let me think.................. It's a no-brainer right? Yes, but, (you knew there would be a but, right?) since I was really, really close to this person it is hard to let things end. I know I haven't had much of a relationship with them lately but to say we are done for good is such finality......... It has been troubling me so much lately. I feel betrayed by this person, hurt deeply. They know the truth yet they will not live by the truth, but they say they are Christians...... To me, that is slapping God in the face by saying you worship him but live opposite to His Word. I can not, nor will I, sit idly by and watch them slap my God in the face. I can't just do that... It's wrong!

So, where did I learn my lesson? At dinner tonight of all places!!! We always read a devotional to the kids while we eat dinner as a family. Tonight we chose to read My Utmost for His Highest. We do not always read that day's reading; we sometimes open it up and read what it opens to, other times we "search" (skim) for something that may pertain to what we are going through. I did the last option today. Since I had been struggling with this situation I thought Jan 11th sounded promising. It is titled "What my obedience to God costs other people". It talks about how if we live our lives according to Scriptures and keep obeying God people around us will ridicul, be upset, or angry at us because sometimes our obedience to God causes them an inconvience......

Like going to the movies. If a friend asks me to go to the movies with her and some friends, and I say yes. then I find out it's a horror movie they are going to see. I then change my mind because I don't agree that watching a horror movie is edifying. They might get mad at me and call me little miss goodie two shoes...

So you see, in that circumstance my living for God inconvenienced and upset my friends... So getting back to my situation I learned that no matter what this person feels about me, whether they get mad at me or think I am stuck up or whatever it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things........ My God is happy with my obedience and that makes me happy. :)

Ok, so one lesson learned now about the second lesson......... That was caused my the disobedience of my son. My oldest son has never really "got things" and understood why in fact something was wrong that he did. As he has gotten older this has happened less often but it happened tonight. Mike and I found out that Adam defaced property belonging to our apartment complex. He did it when his friends were around a while ago, apparently. We just found out about it tonight. Of course we were furious!!! Mike was extremely upset because eviction can be the end result of defacement of complex property... We have lived here 14 years already, with never a problem. We do not want any problems, especially caused by our children. Most kids would have remorse and understand the depth of their sin. Adam, not so much. He was confused. Although he knew it was wrong, he understood he did it willfully, he was lost on the idea that his friends were around when he did it and no one told him he was wrong for doing it. (I know I know! Most people would totally get that without an explanation, but not Adam, not with his Asperger's.) So it took some time to get it through to him it doesn't matter what others thought, or said. He knew the right way to behave. They are not his conscience. God is... then it dawned on me.......

Here is the second lesson. How many times have we acted that same way towards God? How many times have we told God (directly or indirectly) that "everyone's doing it" ~~ I don't understnad why we can't do it? What is so wrong with it? It's not all that bad. ~~  You see where I am going with this.

It doesn't matter who is doing what, or when or how. We have the Scriptures to guide us, we need to take responsibility for our own actions. We need to stop leaning on our friends to help us stay out of trouble. We need to stand up in our faith and live for Christ, even when we don't understand or when everyone else is disobeying... It is up to us to behave and act responsible. God expects us to. I expect me to...

So that is my lessons learned today. You know I feel much better now that I have shared all that. :)

:o)