Today is a blah day. Today Adam woke up and then threw up. UGH!!!! So, I stay home. That is ok with me I guess because I still don't feel the greatest. I really wish I felt better.
Today, I received a terrific private message on my Facebook page that was very encouraging. It is helping me stand firm on my faith, not that I was not firm already, mind you. It's just that some days I feel lost. It's sort of like why am I here? or why continue to try to get people to see that there is a huge bus coming really fast getting ready to plow those who don't believe in Christ down when no one seems to listen anyway? Then, today I get this nice sweet encouraging message. It was very uplifting.... So you know how you are and I thank you very much.
Sickness has been going around in our house for sometime now. I wish that all the germies would just go away. I hate being sick. Being sick reminds me of just how frail our human bodies are, physically and spiritually. It's the spiritual part that is bothering me the most lately. I just wish people would wake up. I wish people would see that the human race sucks. I wish that people would see that only life with God can fill us. We have become such a hedonistic society. It is very discouraging.
Hedonism is a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good according to wikipedia.com. A hedonist is a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification.
Well, that just about describes most of the people I know, even the Christian ones. Even myself at times. I find it sad that in our culture, in the US, people strive to have a better life by acquiring more stuff hoping it will fulfill in them the desires that they have. After all is said and done there is still this empty hole inside of us yearning to be filled. Nothing we do, or buy, or say, or get is able to fill that hole. Only one thing and one thing only ca fill that void, that hole, that abyss.
I know you are all thinking oh here we go again but it is so true!!! I have lived 36 years on this Earth. 7 of those years were in pain and fear, living with my biological parents being beaten and abused more way then you can imagine. 14 years I was in a foster home with a loving Christian family. 16 years (almost 17) have been with my wonderful husband. In all that time I have searched for a way to fill that void. Some days that void is full to the brim, other days it feels as though it will never be full. On the days that I feel it full to the brim are the days that I trust in the Lord, days that I relinquish my own desires and make His desires mine. On the days that it seems like it will never be full are the days that rely on my own strength and my own decision making. These days are the ones that I tend me be more depressed and more easily upset and moody. On the days that I am trusting in Him I feel a weight lifted off of me, at least to some degree.
You see, so for me it has held true, always has and always will, that trusting on the Lord, God Almighty, is not only holding my hand as I walk through life, he is carrying me when I can no longer stand.
Only God has been able to fill the void, that hole that abyss in my life. Only God ever can. I have learned that nothing I do will ever fill that void. I have learned that being hedonistic only digs that void deeper. I have done a lot of screwed up things in my life. I have seen others do messed up things in their life, too. Coming to the saving grace of our Lord Jesus is the only thing that can ever fill that void. I hve never found anything that comes close to His power and love.
I know I am babbling today. my mind is wandering a lot it seems. I pray you all have a terrifically blessed day and May you always rely in the salvation of our Lord and Saviour to help hold you strong and walking in His light. :o)
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