Friendship

Tonight I sit here thinking about friendship. What does it mean to be a friend?

Webster’s online dictionary defines it this way.

friend

noun \ˈfrend\

: a person who you like and enjoy being with

: a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)

Friendship is defined as this:

friend·ship

noun \ˈfren(d)-ˌship\

: the state of being friends : the relationship between friends

: a friendly feeling or attitude : kindness or help given to someone

So friendship seems to be two fold; according to how I read the above.

1 – to be a friend to others

2 – someone being a friend to you.

Scripture, according the Bible dictionary I have, says a friend is one who associates familiarly with one, a companion, an associate, a friend, to be friendly to one, to wish him well. 

From everything I can find in the dictionary and in Scriptures being a friend is the most important part of friendship. Reaching out to others, being kind, helpful, attentive, nurturing, caring, and considerate are general traits in being a friend. 

In today’s world people have put aside the traditional way of being friends. Yes, I know, we all change as time goes on. I get that. With technology, the way we are friends changes also. Texting, facebook’s newfeed wall, private facebook messages, instagram, twitter. It all has become so impersonal, so cold. 

Where did the phone calls go?

Where did the letters in the mail go?

How about stopping by someone’s house for a visit?

When things are said online they can be easily misconstrued and they lack emotions; voice inflections, facial expressions.

When I was growing up my parents were the “old” ones. They were older than any of my friends’ parents. They not only were older, they were ‘old school’ too. We earned what we had, we ate what we were served, and we were respectful and caring and helpful. We did not have caller id or call waiting; no computers or VHS players. I was not allowed to be on the phone much and I was encouraged to go visit my friends instead of calling them. I do not see that with kids today. I find that sad.

Friendships have become electronic. The teens I do see that do hang out with each other, do so because of convenience. When a person no longer fits their  perceived need or has offended them in some way, they are unfriended on facebook, blocked on the cell phone or ignored in person. What happened to fixing the friendship? I don’t know.

I started this blog upset. I usually type when I am upset or when things are on my mind. Tonight is no different. In fact, while everyone is sleeping, I find myself mulling things over in my head. As I sit here typing God works on my heart. Tonight is no exception. He has taught me some lessons writing this blog tonight. For that I am thankful.

Over the last few months I have been trying to figure out what exactly friendship is and what you can expect out of it. Do you know what I can come up with? Friendship starts with us – you, me, individually. Christ didn’t say to wait for others to be friends. He didn’t say to expect friendships. He didn’t say to hang on to friendships. He said to strive to be like Him. He gave us the best example there is. He was patient when it was needed, caring, attentive, nurturing, thoughtful, and yet harsh, straight forward and truthful at times.

Even though friendship starts with us it is joined by another. The two interact and complement each other.

Friendships are not easy at times. They are not at all perfect. We are humans and we are all messed up to some degree. When that happens we need to be understanding of one another. If there is a problem we need to go to that person with compassion and a heartfelt desire to fix the wrongs; even if it was us who were in the wrong. When things do go wrong we need to forgive. Christ is the best example of that. In all we try to do right we sin every day despite our best efforts. Christ forgives us every time we repent. How much more are we to forgive those who trespass against us? 

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21&22(KJV)

I urge you to reach out to your friends. It’s hard when it’s so cold out and you don’t want to go anywhere. Cabin fever sets in and the loneliness feeds itself. Reaching out to your friends not only makes you feel better it might just make them feel better too. If someone reaches out to you, don’t just dismiss them. Accept their effort; don’t dismiss it and shun them. Don’t think they are doing ok, just because you are. They truly may not be doing well at all.

Lift others up and guide them to Christ. It’s in our down times that we forget to look up. Sometimes we only need a friend to help guide us.

Hold your friendships dear.

Love them, cherish them, encourage them.

Everyone needs a friend.