true forgiveness, finally.

Forgiveness.

It's not about them, it's about you.

I have been dealing with an issue that has been preventing me from giving true forgiveness.

I won't say who or what but lets say I was deeply hurt by someone. I sort of wanted to forgive as I know that is the right thing to do, but deep down inside I did not really want to forgive this lady. My feelings were to deeply hurt. I was angry and a bit bitter.

One would think that to forgive someone is to forget what they did and to be best friends with them again. Not so. It truly has nothing to do with the person you are forgiving. It has to do only with ourselves.

Think about it this way. If you are angry at someone, who does that affect? You. Most likely that person doesn't know you are angry or doesn't care. If you are hurt by and bitter towards someone who does that affect? You. Not them. They probably don't know or don't realize the extent of your hurt feelings. If they did they might or might not care. They might or might not do anything to help you feel better about the situation. They have no control over your feelings. They have no say over how you feel. Only you do. You can't make them apologize but you can chose to forgive. It truly is a choice. A decision you have to make; to forgive or not to forgive is the question of the day.


I have had to make the decision today. God has been working on me for sometime now to make this decision but stupid me doesn't like to listen. Listen means that I may be wrong and I did not want to admit I was wrong. But I was wrong. I was wrong for not wanting to forgive this lady.


Let me simply say one thing before I go on. Forgiveness does not mean you have to put yourself in the same situation to get hurt again. It does mean that even though you know what happened and you knwo how you were hurt you must not let it bother you anymore. Our human brains do not forget like God does. We tend to remember every horrible detail of how wer were hurt, by whom, when and how badly. We need to make a conscience decision to put it in the past and leave it there.


Ok, back to what I was saying. I had a good friend call today and tell me he was praying for us with this situation. In fact he prayed right there on the phone with me. He gave me some great advice about this topic. Then, immediately (within seconds) another close friend called me. We talked for 90 minutes (WOW!!!!!) and she gave me some great advice too. (Can you say God was working on my heart today???)


To err is human to forgive is divine. My good friend said this to me today. She said how true it is. True forgiveness only comes from a divine being giving us grace to do so. We cannot forgive on our own. We must have the grace of God to be able to truly forgive.


Without going into any more details I just wish to simply say that I praise God for giving me the grace needed to truly forgive the woman who so deeply hurt me.


I do wish to add more to this post but it is late and I am am tried. I have to go to bed. Maybe I might add more in a day or two. We'll see.


For now I will leave you with this.


Luke 17:2-4  It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.



Matthew 18:21-22  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.


Matthew 6:14-15  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.