the internet is not secure - people will find out...

Ok, so the other day I was frustrated. My husband made me cry. He didn't mean to but it happened. He felt bad that he made me cry. Forgiveness is truly a gift from God because I know in my heart I am not one who wishes to forgive if my feelings are still hurt. Anyhow, with in the hour we were both doing well. The argument was over and forgiven. But I wanted to talk to someone about my hurt feelings. I wanted to be self-centered for a few minutes. In my mind it was "all about me". I called me best friend. We talked for a few and then I felt better. But what if I came online and used my blog to vent? Would that be ok? NO!!!!

But why? Why would using my blog to blow off some steam not be a good idea? Ok, so it may not be a good idea but what makes it not an ok idea either? First, do I really want everyone reading about my marital "problems"? Nope, I don't. I don't want others to think bad of my husband. I don't want people to judge the relationship I have with him.

If you go with what your mom probably taught you, "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all"  then it certainly wouldn't be ok for you to even call your best friend as I did. I know she doesn't need to hear my bad thoughts of Mike. I also know that if those feelings are kept bottled inside of me they do nothing but get bigger. So letting them out helps keep the problem from getting worse. Does that fact make it ok to blab about my bad feelings? No, not really.... So what's a girl to do?

If you are like me then you are a raging mess of a roller coaster of hormones and feelings. Women's feelings can go up and down, be hot or cold, many times during the day. Sometimes the only way, its seems, to difuse these feelings is to let them out.

But, think about it. What if the tables were turned? What if your spouse was the one with the raging hormones? What if your spouse was the one who blabbed and vented about you to his friends? How would you feel? I bet you would feel the same way I know I would feel. I would feel hurt and unloved. I would feel betrayed. I would be angry at my husband for spreading our business (in a probably not so nice way) to others that have no business being involved. So, if that is how I would feel then what am I making my husband feel like? You might say "well he doesn't know I say those things so I'm not making him feel bad". Well, just as I mentioned in the title today, people will find out. The Scriptures say your sin will find you out.

Is blabbing and venting sin? Well, yeah I guess it is. Of course I do not want to admit that because then it means that I have sinned in that area more then once, more then twice, truthfully it's been a lot. How I feel about it, how knowing it is sin makes me feel really doesn't change the fact that it is sin.

So how can we, as women who are designed with feelings that get easily hurt, vent and get those horrible feelings off our chest without destryoing the relationship we are in? I can't tell you exactly because I have never figured it out. I can say that giving it to God helps a lot. Giving it to God is probably the only thing we can do. I know it's the only thing we should do.

Being angry, hurt and frustrated are actually actions, not feelings. Think about it. When you are angry, what do you do? You usually act out in one way or another, be it venting, yelling or stomping around. If you are hurt you usually mope around, cry or complain. If you are frustrated, what do you do? If you are like me I get irritated and upset. I complain and demand things calm down so I can concentrate. All these are actions... they are things we do. But, you say, anger, hurt and frustration are feelings but the things we do when I feel them are the actions, right? NOT SO!

No matter what you feel, (yes I am included myself in this whole discussion) is exhibited in your behavior. You chose to act on those "feelings" When you love someone you are sweet and caring to them. When you hate someone you are cold shouldered to them. Your "feelings' are shown in your actions. But can you change your "feelings" by changing your actions? YOU BETCHA!!!

Giving our "feelings" over to God helps us not only desire to change our behavior but we actually can change it. So I challenge you, and myself, the next time you are hurt, angry or frustrated (or any other "feeling" that can lead to bad behavior) give your thoughts, feelings and actions over to God. Only He can help you change those feelings and actions into something positive.

Ok, I wrote this today is response to a post I put on my facebook page this morning. "If you have something not so nice to say or if you want to vent about people on facebook just remember that everyone sees, or hears this at one time or another. So if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. :)"

When I put that post on facebook I was actually thinking of when Mike and I got into a bit of a argument the other night.  Now, we do not argue much and when we do it is usually because of me. I am being honest about it. I am a selfish person who wants her own feelings attended to and who wants her own way. My feelings are hurt easily. Trying to improve myself I am giving things to God more often. I have seen a bit of an improvement. However, the other night when Mike and I argue I called my best friends and vent about Mike. I was upset and called him some not so nice names, (not swear words mind you). I shouldn't have though. I should have called him names I shouldn't have called m best friend to complain as it's not her business.

I am also writing this in response to another comment someone told me recently. No matter what the privacy settings on your facebook account are things can be seen by others you may not want to have see them. On the internet things are never really private. Things can also get back to someone who you would rather not have known those things.

Today, when writing this post I originally wanted to complain about someone I know. I do not want that person to know I was complaining about them so I was thinking how do I say this or that without that person being offended? Then it hit me! I shouldn't say anything if I have to think that question. My being upset at that person is my business, not yours. It is something I should take up with that person, not you. It really is an action. If I am really upset about it I need to give it to God and to change my thoughts. I shouldn't let my thoughts dictate my feelings or vise versa. Then I thought well, it really isn't that big of a deal to lose the friendship over and I do not want to bring it up to this person so I think I will just not talk about it. But remember what I said about feelings that are not dealt with? They fester? If it is not important enough to bring up to this person and it's not big enough to bother with then it's not big enough to fester about either.... Giving it to God is the only recourse I really have in dealing with these feelings so they don't turn into sinful actions like gossiping or animosity.

So I urge you, no matter what your feelings are about different things and different people give them to God and let Him direct their paths.

Love you all and pray for your hearts to be close to the Almighty God.

Have a great day!!!